Hello, Well I have been confused for quite sometime but now that I have grown up a bit more, I want to figure out who I am and what I want to be. Ever since I was about five, I lived with my dad, and I did everything with him, I went fishing, worked on cars, played sports. I used to have my hair short and wear boy clothes even when I was that age. Then my mother stepped into the picture just before puberty. She started to show me what it was like to be a girl. I still hated to wear dresses and make up, but it made my mom happy and love me and that's all I've ever wanted. At the age eleven I was in fifth grade, and I asked my best friend that was a girl if it would be weird if I wanted to 'go out' with her. She laughed and she said that we are just good friends. Once I entered sixth grade I had been put in classes with eight graders because I was on that math level, and I met a few that helped explain to me that I was something called "bisexual" that I liked both boys and girls. Then as I progressed in middle school I dated, alot. I dated both females and males. Then as I entered high school I met alot more interesting people whom maybe could help me understand who I was. I still dated males and females and I was introduced to the transgender community. From middle school onto high school I was in the more "Weirdo and Goth/Nerdy" groups, but I still had many people who was like me, in more ways then one. I began to experiment sexually, I lost my virginity to a girl at the age thirteen. Then I had never had intercourse with a male before, I've only done four play because I found the male genitalia, not attractive. So, recently, January I came out that I was Gay, and I started to experiment with myself, I have always dressed more guy like but still had long hair and wore make up and showed that I had breasts, well now I wear boxers and more baggy clothes and have short hair. I hate wearing make up and showing that I have breasts and try to act like a guy. I have dreams that I am a guy and not supposed to be a female. But I have a disgust for the male genitalia , but I sort of want the male body with out the genitalia. Then again, my girlfriend, loves my breasts, but she doesn't know that I hate them. I am freaked out, I told this to my mother (stupidly) and she began to make fun of me, and when I came out as gay she didn't talk to me for a week and still believes it's a phase. I would really appreciate some advice and I'm sorry I wrote so much :eek: :help:
Don't worry, you don't have to be sorry about writing long messages. Most of us do that a lot. Born a male and wanting to be a female, I don't know how much advice I can give you about wanting to be a male. I myself am too scared to make any sort of transition. However, you might want to talk to your girlfriend about it if you keep feeling this way. But only if you feel comfortable enough to do tell her. About your mom, the best advice I can give is to not worry about her. Parents are people who can't stand to see the world change sometimes. Don't let them be a source of discontent. I hope everything works out.
Do not be scared. I am a woman, but have a man's body and I accept myself the way I am. I do not dress like a girl, cause its me myself that know it. It does not take clothes to make me a woman, nor do I need a vagina! Although, I am happy to say that I consider my male gentilia to be my vagina and I am happy with it. I cannot say what you are going through, but I do hope this helps.
