First Experimentation! Not that great, but. glad i did.

This may not be the eoght place to put this post, but i figure theres a bunch of other people here questioning their orientation, and I'd like to share my personal experience of the first experimentarion i just had, so maybe if they are like me, they'll have an idea of what they are getting into.

So I grew up always being attracted to women. About a year ago i started having gay fantasies. Im also submissive, which may be why i got into men. But then again im into femdom, cuckolding, and a controlling woman. my porn taste is also all over the place, i watch straight, lesbian, gay, bi, and everything in between. i also obsess over beinggay or not, and I thought i had HOCD. by the way, i know its not an official condition but lets be real someone could definitely panic and obsess over their sexuality, because its not something you can easily figiure out without an experiment.

So today I finally got up the courage to experiment. Honestly, I wasn't that horny when I decided to go. But I told myself no matter what I've gotta go through with this or else the unsureness would continue to eat me alive. So I pulled up to this guys house pretty nervously, but handled myself as if I wasn't. I still told him it was my first time though and turned out to be totally cool about it.

Anyways, we started messing around, and he got an erection and I didn't. Infact I was embarrassingly shrunken. I thought maybe nerves idk. But to be honest in that moment as i tried to find something about him that would turn me on, I found nothing. It wasnt just him either, I don't think there is anything about the male form that actually attracts me. Like the hairiness, facial structure, even penises. I thought another guys penis would turn me on like never before, but I wasn't turned on that much at all. At this point, I decided I would try giving a bj, even though truthfully I didn't really want to. But again, as I told myself coming in, I had to see what it was like.

And it was meh. Just meh. Didnt really turn me on, and it was not as hot as I expected itto be. At all. Infact I kind of wanted to stop, but kept going because he seemed to be enjoying it. We played around more and then he got lube out and started giving me a hj, and damn if there's one thing that's true is that a gay guy knows what feels good for another guy. I finally started to get hard because it felt so good.

I thought if i was gay, I'd be a bottom. So, and I know this is dumb, but I asked if he wanted to try anal. I say dumb because I think gay guys consider anal to be an intimate act but whatever. So I got him to use lube and a condom, I warmed up, and as we started trying i started to realize fuck that. I lost my erection and it was not pleasurable at all.


Another thing this guy did was try to cuddle and "be close." He said it was hot and he enjoyed it, but at this point i almost left. I think I realized here there isn't that connection between me and another guy. But I continued.


Then I blew him and another thing i was curious about was letting a guy c*m in my mouth. Again, I didn't really want to, but while he said he was getting close i thought "Just this once, see what it's like or you'll regret it" and he blew , and I almost threw up. I thought I would want to swallow before during my fantasies, but when he actually did, that was totally out of the question. I asked for a sink and spit it out. He then finished me after while with a lubey hj.

It wasnt really awkward afterwards. I took the opportunity to ask him what it was like to e gay. He told me about how he when a hot guy and girl walk by, he looks at the guy and all that. And that he's never fantasized about a girl.

I told him i look at girls, grew up fantasizing exclusively about them, and am turned on by them. I think what I realized during my experimentation was what attraction is. People always ask, well who are you attracted to? And I couldn't tell you before today. I didn't know what attraction was. I knew girls would make me tingly an give me an erection, but was i attracted? Well, during my encounter with this guy, I wasn't attracted at all. I can tell you for sure that it takes experiencing no attraction to understand what attraction is. I just wasnt attracted to this guy. However, I was still able to get an erection and finish when I closed my eyes and let him give me a hj with lube for awhile. But I had to focus on the feeling of it. U can focus on the feeling of it with girls as well, but I'd also be attracted.


I felt a little sick and repulsed afterwards, but I was prepared for it. It's ok because I understand I'll only live once, and there's no point in not trying something that intrigues you. Even though I don't think Im going to do it again, I'm glad I did. The gay guy was cool too, he made me warm up to the LGBT community a little more.

I know the fact that I even did this is pretty gay. Does this make me at least bi? Sure i guess. But I'd be a bi guy who prefers women. And I feel a sense of completeness and closure now, So I don't care if anyone has anything negative to say.

 

Maybe. Maye a tad bit bi. But at least i know for sure I'm not gay, even though I kind of figured that already. But have you experimented with women at all?

 

Gravechild, I think I am like that, a demisexual. I need to know someone before i enjoy sex. Or so I tell myself.. I've had a few good experiences with girls i didn't know but for a day/night.

Even so, I have no problem considering myself bi. Personally, I don't think I would come out as such though, because since I prefer women it would only hurt my chances with women because they'd be all "gay wtf."

Devilkisses, that really stinks. Have you ever come close to experimenting? Like maybe planned it and not followed through or something like that? And if you have, dd you get more turned on as the time approached or off? I think that's a good indicator