Ok so I am not sure where I am going with this post, but I really want to share this: Since accepting that I am not straight and most of the time thinking of myself as a lesbian I've been much happier and finally able to focus on the rest of my life again. A few nights back at a school function where me and a few friends worked we slipped away for a while just to nurse our sore feet and relax before the big clean up starts. I became aware of how amazing one of my friends looked - everything about her in that moment was so attractive. What left an impression on me was that it was the first time that I accepted what I was feeling when looking at a girl from the moment I noticed it. I was like "Damn, she looks gorgeous tonight, I wish she was gay" and did not feel guilty at all. I guess I am finally really accepting it. Although I still got really uncomfortable when reading a part in class about two gay guys in our prescribed book; nothing inappropriate, but I really felt for them and could sort of relate - I must have been so red in the face it's not even funny (I love our teacher but she always gives us the worst parts of the book to read aloud.) As said, this post does not really have a point; except perhaps that when I finally accepted that I won't be sure in the near future and just lived life it became so natural to identify to myself as gay so definite that I suddenly am sure, hoever I won't label myself yet. It feels kind of free not to be bound by a label (if that makes sense:dry
Congratulations on your new-found self-acceptance! You deserve that, we all do. And labels are over-rated Keep enjoying it, and thanks for sharing the story
