I don't want to be straight...

I thought I'd reply here because this is exactly how I was when I was your age. I felt this way when I was younger, and even a decade later, still feel this way but it's mellowed quite a bit in recent years.

When I was around your age, the minute any guy friend confessed crushing on me, I got disgusted and uncomfortable and did everything possible to get them to realize that I was not interested in them in that way. I'd avoid them, ignore them, do anything possible and when I got frustrated enough I was, well, I admit now I was pretty rude and hurtful, I would turn them down pretty nasty. Back then though, I was pretty shy and reserved and didn't know how to tell someone I wasn't into them in that way. I since realized that they have feelings, so I try and tell them firmly that I'm not into them in that way and that I hope we can still be friends. I've only remained friends with the good portion of my guy friends who asked me out. There's a small handful that refuse to even acknowledge me or talk to me, and it's years later...but I had to be firm with those ones because they never got the message.

I can admire and appreciate a guy, but with girls I tend to attach a lot more strongly. With guys when I stare at them, it's usually because I look at their clothing and want a specific shirt(I believe it's more aesthetic), or just staring because they're talking directly to me. I have more guy friends than girl, so I'm not nervous around guys, I tend to be 'one of the boys' in my groups of guy friends. Girls I tend to get shyer and nervous around and that's because I don't have very many female friends and am not used to being around girls as much as boys. And I get drawn to girls very easily.

My advice is to follow your heart, and remember to be upfront with how you feel if a guy friend confesses their feelings to you. I learned after high school that guys and girls do have feelings, and I'm sure it was pretty hard for them to admit that they crushed on me. At that time I was shy and really not the best at expressing how I felt and sometimes it came out the wrong way. I just tell them that I'm not into them in that way, and would like to still be friends. But if they can't handle being just friends, then you move forward and make new and even better friends(There are guys and girls out there that are understanding of the just friends aspect...trust me:icon_bigg).

All of this questioning is very normal for your age, I was your age when I started asking it myself. If you can't talk to your parents, I'm sure someone here is there to talk to you about this, or even a counselor or therapist is really good at helping as well(you just have to make sure they are LGBT friendly of course), or feel out a friend on where they stand on it and see which one of your friends might be the most understanding of the bunch and talk with them about it.

Hope I helped somewhat

 

I disagree.

The only adolescents I've heard of who seriously questioned their sexuality and then turned out to be straight have been sexual abuse victims (usually male victims, because of the stereotype that same-sex abuse makes you gay).

Some straight teens will fool around with the same gender a bit, just to try it, but they don't have too much trouble figuring out that it's not what they're into.

So although it's most likely possible for a straight, non-abused teen to go through a phase of being confused about their sexual orientation, it's most likely fairly rare. Whereas there are a lot of LGBT individuals who first realize what they are as teenagers. A few figure it out even before adolescence.

 

Get out of my head. These are exactly the feelings I've been dealing with for the past seven months. This especially:

Like, who thinks that, right? I always thought I was a freak for feeling that way

I guess I'm not much use for you for that reason - I can't exactly tell you whether I turned out straight or not, 'cause I'm still working through it myself. But if it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one going through this right now. Feel free to hit me up if you need to chat or anything.

 

Uhhh this doesn't sound very normal for straights. xD

Perhaps because you're a lesbian and trying to be straight is unnatural for you.

 

This is exactly how I feel at the moment and I'm only a little older then you are. When I was 13 I started having questioning feelings and now that I'm 18 it's almost as if, like you said, "I don't want to be straight". I related to just about everything you said in your post and I hope we both figure things out in the future

 

I can relate so much with what you are saying, I am attracted to homosexuality so I've watched gay movies and stuff, and it's hard feeling that you are attracted to women but you are also attracted to men if they are gay and with another man. In the beginning I thought I wanted to be gay, but it's not as much as wanting to be gay as to wanting to proceed a life with a woman. I mean, I've been nervouse around guys, more than girls, but that's because I take for granted that guys are into girls and girls are into guys, I was uncomfortable with guys because I thought they might like me. But as soon as I hear about some girl I know being bisexual I instantly got super nervouse around her.

What I think is so hard in terms od realizing your sexuality is that it is so complicated and takes a long time. Most people, including myself, think that if you are gay you know it when you hit puberty, no questions asked. You might not want to be gay, but you know you are. And it is much harder then that. You have to deal with the fact that you've been forcing ideals on yourself and that you've leraned yourself how to act and feel around boys, and these thoughts and belives will not go away directly. But take your time, and in a couple of mounth you'll see how you feel.

I think many, many gay girls go through the same stages as you are right now.