The guide of stages of experiencing fluid sexuality/fluid sexual orientation

Here's a helpful guide coming from someone who had experienced fluid sexuality/fluid sexual orientation.

What exactly is the differences between the two? Well, there is a difference if you define orientation as a enduring patterns while sexuality is defined as feelings and thoughts with regards to exploration of one's sexual interest. Sexuality can be seen as a short-term version of sexual orientation. However, they are also used interchangeably and when they are used that way, they are referring to sexual orientation.

Ok, now for the stages of experiencing fluid sexual orientation when it comes to being hetero to homo or homo to hetero or homo to bi or hetero to bi. I will get to the sexual to asexual later on as that's another experience.

1. The first stage is experiencing attraction to members of a sex that you have never been attracted to. It can be mild at first to the point where you don't really see that you are attracted.
2. The second stage is understanding that you are experiencing attraction to a gender that you have never been attracted to before. Also, there may be loss of interest into the members of a sex that you were always attracted to.
3. The third stage is that you start to have the frustration stage and you start to live in denial as you have been led to believe that you were born the sexuality you started with. You might not necessarily be in frustration though depending on whether you heard of it or not.
4. The fourth stage is that you went to follow your heart and went to experiment with your new interest into the members of a sex.
5. The fifth stage is that you start to recognize that you have experienced changes in sexuality.
6. The sixth and final stage is that you have accepted that who you are and what you have been through.

Note: It is possible to be confused during out the shift.

As for changes from sexual to asexuality and asexuality to sexuality.

1. First stage you started to notice a change in sexual responses.
2. Second stage is that you start to question the changes in your sexual responses
3. The third stage is that you start to become in denial or you are confused over what is happening. The third stage doesn't necessarily happen.
4. Depending on whether you are turning into an asexual or sexual, you may be more or less inclined to experiment.
5. Fifth stage is that you start to understand that changes occured.
6. Sixth and final changes is that you have accepted who you are.

Note: It is possible to be confused during out the shift.

 

That's something that depends on each individuals. For some, they have found themselves to see the changes is permanent and for some, they have found that it isn't permanent. Some could be in the middle. The only way to answer this to experience life as it is and see what will happen. It could revert back or it might not revert back at all.

 

@Above: Glad it helped.

Well, here's a long story.

I had sexual interest way back when I was 8 years old, but I knew I shouldn't even be involved into sexual intercourse. Back then, I enjoyed women's bodies as I enjoy their curves, but all I see them overall as something that's just there kind of an artwork. I was exploring artworks which shows the beauty behind women's shape and how lighting makes them more aesthetically pleasing to look at. I have never had a desire to form a social relationship with anyone myself other than friendship level.

Fast-forward to being in 6th grade, I had my first real crush on a girl and I knew I wanted to spend some time with her. Nonetheless, I had bullies trying to bother me about it. All I wanted is to talk with her casually and be all chill with her. That's really all I can recall as I can't translate visual memory to words. I do admit to having a crush to a feminine guy myself, but it didn't disappoint me when he turned me down. Then, I had my moment looking at beautiful girls back in the day and I desired some few amount of sexual intercourse with girls, but I also knew it was risky back then. That didn't stop me from being naughty as I experienced a girl grinding at me which was enjoyable. I was just being casual not having interest into a relationship because I'd rather focus on something else. I had a lot of blushes. My favorite moment is when the girl that was way older than me noticed I do like her and I denied it, but she responded 'you like me, don't ya?' and then went to kiss her boyfriend (He was rather fine).

A small detail between the time between 6th to 8th grade, there were plenty of moments where I start to become so detached from the world that I was just staring in empty space. I knew that I was gonna become more solitary even though I know I can't predict the future. I am a solitary young man. In the course of high school, I was slowly losing interest into socialization. During those moment I was losing desire to socialize, I was also losing interest into sexual activities.

Fast-forward to 9th grade, I had some interest into learning about trying to engage into a more serious relationship though I was rarely in the mood to socialize. I am utterly confused about my own sexuality and feelings toward others. Then, I experienced some crushes on some girls, but I was lost as to how to socialize. I also had a crush on a guy, but I didn't want to do anything with him romantically or sexually. There was some alternating shifts of interest to guys and girls which can change from 3-9 months. I noticed I started losing interest into sexual intercourse in the middle of the school year.

A small note: I was intentionally isolating myself more and more as each grades progressed. While I am capable of feeling desire for other people and I am emotional, I was slowly losing in touch with the needs of having other people.

Onto 10th grade, I started engaging into a real and strong friendship with this one girl. It all started with my awe at her wonderful sexy and strong body in a dark room. I was sleeping in class before I noticed her and I was hoping she doesn't go away from that class. So, when the timing was right, I stepped in to talk to her and it was a start of a feeling of actually being connected to someone. I was interested into getting to know her and we both had a strong friendship. We were talking about studies and she model for me at some times. At 10th grade, we met when we can at lunch though at 11th grade, I had to get out of class just to meet her while the teacher approved me of doing it. During out the 11th grade, sometimes, she would go near the classroom so that she can meet me and she also wanted to spend some more time with me. I wasn't really comfortable with seeing her more than 2 times a week and 2 mins at a time, but I compromised regardless and so did she. I had some of the most glorious feeling as a young man back then. Besides of all of this, I was losing interest into sexual relationship and socialization overall which is why I spent much less time with her at 11th grade. Other than this girl, I did enjoy to spend time with this guy at 10th grade and I feel some attachment to this guy while I know I am capable of having sex with him not because I'm sexually interested, but I'm emotionally interested and most of my other crushes were on girls. I didn't really spend much time with this guy either. I didn't have that much crushes as other time of my life.

During the 12th grade, I had flashback on that girl which made me feel like I'm in love. I wasn't really interested into spending time with people at all, so I limited the amount of time they can interact with me. I had some few crushes over there and there, but I had zero interest into engaging at this point of my life. I considered myself an asexual at this time. Before that time, I declared myself to be a dominantly heterosexual man. I still appreciate the female body during this time of my life, but I feel as they're something that's just there. I don't really fancy having sex with anyone nor a relationship with anyone at this point.

Note: I was studying sexuality and sexual orientation since I was 16 years old and that made me realize that there are so many different interpretations of sexuality that it makes no sense for me to use a sexuality label and it also makes no sense to assert that these labels will necessarily work for people when there are so many different scenarios which goes against the validity of these labels. I knew about pomosexuality when I was 17 years old. I also learned about fluid sexuality which explained so much as well.

During out college, I have yet to feel any actual interest other than squishes. It is possible that my life experience before college is mostly consistent of squishes, so I won't deny that they're squishes, but I will also not deny my past sexuality is different than today's sexuality. I barely even socialized in college other than for working purpose. I do not recall a time where I had that much interest before 12th grade. Needless to say, I still enjoy the body of the female bodies from time to time being a freshman at college. As a sophomore in college, I see my libido as nothing more than a biological urge and I had 0 interest. However, this doesn't mean I am not open to a relationship, I am open to one if and only I find a woman that tries to operate only on logic and reasons rather than emotions and is willing to go through domestic partnership. Another condition is no to limited affection or love as I am not interested into those anymore. I don't have a problem with reproducing, but I do realize the issue of population and resources, so I will factor that in for my decision.

Special note: Most of the time between 8 to 19 years old, I was interested into looking at the bodies of women and I enjoyed to look at them for pleasure, however when I got older (16-19 years old), I started to lose interest into women and now it feels like I'm just looking to fullfill my biological urges and I do not have interest into having sex with anyone. I have a disassociated form of sexual arousal where my phantom body enjoys looking at women, but I simply do not feel a desire or needs to engage into sexual activities. My real body and brain feels no desire to even engage. It is possible to make an argument that I still feel sexual attraction as I get sexually aroused by the female body nowaday from the social constructionist viewpoint hence, I am currently heterosexual if the argument is to be presumed correct.

Update to this story: I may or not have that much interested into guys back then when I thought that I did have shifts of sexuality. It could be curiosity that feels like interest, but I am not sure. However, back then there was no denial that I was emotionally interested into this guy and he was probably a exception. I think my shifts was actually temporary loss of interest into women and a very strong aesthetic appreciation for men.

 

Revised version as now I realized I should have point out not all experiment when experiencing a shift into sexuality.

Ok, now for the stages of experiencing fluid sexual orientation when it comes to being hetero to homo or homo to hetero or homo to bi or hetero to bi. I will get to the sexual to asexual later on as that's another experience.

1. The first stage is experiencing attraction to members of a sex that you have never been attracted to. It can be mild at first to the point where you don't really see that you are attracted.
2. The second stage is understanding that you are experiencing attraction to a gender that you have never been attracted to before. Also, there may be loss of interest into the members of a sex that you were always attracted to.
3. The third stage is that you start to have the frustration stage and you start to live in denial as you have been led to believe that you were born the sexuality you started with. You might not necessarily be in frustration though depending on whether you heard of it or not. There's another kind of third stage where you feel that you need to validate if your sexuality is shifting over time as you may not necessarily experiment, but denial or confusion may still be there.
4. The fourth stage is that you went to follow your heart and went to experiment with your new interest into the members of a sex.
5. The fifth stage is that you start to recognize that you have experienced changes in sexuality.
6. The sixth and final stage is that you have accepted that who you are and what you have been through.

As for changes from sexual to asexuality and asexuality to sexuality.

1. First stage you started to notice a change in sexual responses.
2. Second stage is that you start to question the changes in your sexual responses
3. The third stage is that you start to become in denial or you are confused over what is happening. It is possible that you might be looking into validation of shifting sexuality.
4. Depending on whether you are turning into an asexual or sexual, you may be more or less inclined to experiment or still looking into verification.
5. Fifth stage is that you start to understand that changes occured.
6. Sixth and final changes is that you have accepted who you are.

 

Any degree of changes in sexual orientation is possible and changes can occur at most stages in life except stages before sexuality is apparent. Some people can have a form of sexuality identity at age 8, some at age 16, and so on. So yes.

 

@Above: This is not about politics of sexuality. You can start a new thread about this.

It can take 2 weeks to 1+ years which can be as long as decades. In my experience, the entire stages is 2 years.

2 weeks is a sign of fluctating bisexuality and 2 years or more would be a sign of your sexuality is gonna end up being fixated as in it may not necessarily change back. If your sexuality does change back, it's not gonna be the same stages as you already know what you're going through.

I would say between stage 2 and 3 can be easily explained by that you're slightly bisexual a mix of sexual/asexual or on the process of discovery. I wouldn't take some serious consideration unless you're starting to be on denial. It is between 5 and 6 is when you confirm your fluid sexuality.

Yes, fluid sexuality can happen more than once and once a person experiences it, then he/she won't really experiences the step-by-step description of it. I think it is possible for someone who is experience fluctuating sexuality twice or more may experience a slight frustration as you could have a lover that loves you so much while you don't want to hurt that lover even though you're not attracted. Yes, I completely agree with you. That being said, what you could suggest for a new guide? I will create a new guide as soon as I finish my macroeconomic class.

@Moderators & Admins: Can this thread be allowed to be on sticky? Please don't mind that they bumped the thread as now there's new information for other posters to know which can help them and I will write a new guide soon.