I have been fighting with this for 12 years. I get into a relationship, but then I get bored, like its a chore. In fact, I was in a relationship with this girl, she turned out to be pretty weird, and after we broke up, I married my on and off boyfriend. It only lasted 4 years, because I was miserable. I then looked for girlfriends, but then fell in love with a male co-worker... He broke my heart, and now I am back to females. I went out with this girl, and by the end of the night, we were "close", but I felt as if I was just going through the motions. I didn't feel turned on, but I went through with it, but going that far I usually have to really love that person. I have only had 1 orgasm in my life, and it was when my girl crush straddled me fully clothed... Now, I have OCD, and I fear that I am trying to be something I am not. It is like I take o a whole new "butch" persona when I am with gay women, otherwise I am pretty femme... When I go to the lesbian club or out in the gay mecca altogether, I feel awkward and out of place, and I am always alone... Can anyone help me figure this out? I have been to a psychiatrist, and it didn't solve anything... I would like some more incite!!! Please help!!
