So my sexuality is confusing and I'm married to a man which makes things more complicated. I seem to be turned on by females but not turned when having sex with them. I do like men a lot, I like sex, I like the intimacy, I have had many crushes on guys. But it seems like I want to only be with women - in a relationship. I've been with women before but I didn't like it much. I'm thinking maybe I was with the wrong women. I'm not sure what to do. I haven't had many friends growing up and when I did I would cling on to one friend for dear life. Not that I'm trying to justify my "attraction" to women. I just feel this pull to them. And of course I don't want to make a mistake and leave my marriage as I am still emotionally and sexually attracted to my husband. But I have this pull to women.
That "cling on to one friend for dear life", I can definitely relate to. I've always had one male best friend that I held above all others (starting since I was three). I've also been physically attracted to a lot of girls growing up (and Emma Watson could still have me any day of the week), but I've never felt an emotional connection with them. And I've decided that, to me, was the most important thing in a relationship. I take it you have to know a women really well before you find her sexually attractive (or maybe you've never gotten to that point)? That's how I am with guys. I think I am technically a homoromantic demisexual, but that's alot of words, so I just use the label "gay". Obviously, you and your husband know what's best for you and your relationship, so keep talkin' it out, and I know you'll find it =).
well, you seem to be seeking something from women, but you're not quite clear on what. It seems sort of abstract. If you are still emotionally and sexually attached to your husband, I would use that as my starting point. Have you discussed this stuff with your husband? Have you spoken to a therapist? All I can say is that we're all very complicated and confused. Sometimes it's sexual stuff, sometimes not. Beyond that, I have little to offer of any value today.
I have spoken to my therapist. We were initially treating my anxiety around my family which is now pretty much gone. I feel like even though I am both sexually and emotionally attracted to men, that I want to be/experiment being with a woman in a monogamous relationship...man this sucks, my marriage is doomed. My husband know everything and tries to be as supportive as he can.
