Every time I think I know. . .

I completely understand that at sixteen sexuality is supposed to remain fluid and is still developing, but this is taking up too much of my time worrying when I need to focus on school and the like. My main issue with sexuality is that I have no opportunity for experimentation as I am in High School, and just got my first kiss with a girl a few months ago.

I'm not sure if it was conclusive for my sexuality as the relationship only lasted another few weeks and we kissed maybe two more times, but I definitely didn't experience more than friend-love with her. I do believe I have fallen in total love with a girl before though with a girl who was my absolute best friend at the same time we were dating in middle school, which is why I believe I am straight or at the very least not all the way gay, possibly somewhere in the middle or more on the gay side, here's the evidence for that theory.

Ever since I can remember I've been attracted to men, I wrote it off as my hormones though I did begin looking at some gay-material during my *ahem* time and it seems to help me more than straight or lesbian porn.(yay, that's done) But again, there was the feeling that I couldn't be gay because I had relationships with girls, so no matter how many signs I saw and felt I was still surely straight.

Then amidst some of my obsessive research and after a visit to my palm reader who told me that I had two warring and conflicting personalities within me, I thought I aligned with something I discovered. It was a study that stated and proved that a form of bisexuality was essentially because your physical attraction and romantic attraction are aligned to the two different genders, in my case people who identify as male with the parts included on the physical attraction front, and people who identify as woman, parts not essenial (have you seen Unique on Glee? alternatively known as another cause for questioning in my life) on the romantic front. I was beggining to accept that this was how it would be, and started to define it as more likely to date a girl, but more likely to think a guy is hot.

BUT, though I thought it was simply physical attraction to some celebrities and other unattainable people as no one in my personal life appealed to me in that way, I was in for another shock shortly. At my best friend who is Bisexual/unlabeled's behest, I began exploring in the most secretive way possible of simply identifying that I did notice when men were attractive, and leaving it at that.

One day, I met/saw from across the hallway a junior walking with one of my good friends, let's call him Bruce. Now Bruce isn't many people's idea of hot, but to me he's just, crazy hot sexy drop dead gorgeous good looking, and seems like a really cool guy to boot, including the fact according to his facebook like you haven't facebook stalked a crush while hovering over the add friend button dreaming of what might be *ahem* we have many similar interests, and suddenly I realized that I had a full-on crush for another guy. and not Kellan Lutz, a tangible, real, even possibly attainable guy which has never happened before.

Anyway, as my username suggests, I'm just utterly confused, and will probably just continue to walk slow on the way to class on the off-chance I'll see him walking with our mutual friend and get a chance to become friends with him as-well so I can shake this crush or maybe follow through. Any help at all would be so very appreciated, and I apologize for the long post, I just have virtually nowhere else to go, after I explained to my mom she had no advice to offer, and after three days of internet quizzes to tell if you are bisexual left me feeling more confused than ever, I came to a forum looking for help, so please, just some clarity or someone with a survival guide from a similar situation would be much appreciated

tl;dr, thought I was just attracted to guys on physical level with muscles and whatnot, now I have a full blown crush on a super nerdy, lanky guy and am more confused than ever, and girls haven't even been an object in my mind since my breakup a few months ago

 

Definitely more emotionally than physical pull. Normally I become friends with women and the physical attraction comes later, after I realize I would like to be more than friends with this woman.

With men, I definitely feel more physical attraction at first, hence I have many, many more female friends than male friends, but normally the physical attraction withers once I become friends with the person, or in the case I mentioned above, intensifies when I begin talking to the person very rarely.

Thank You! I'll try it out hopefully