For the past 3 years I've been confused about whether I'm bi or gay. I know for sure I like girls, but I've had conflicting feelings about if I like guys. Most of my confusion has been how I should label myself when I haven't been in a relationship with anyone of either gender. Whenever I am out with my friends (who are girls), they are always checking out the guys, flirting with them, and talking about who they like or are with. I usually try to remain gender neutral when I'm talking about these things, but on a few occasions I've had to pretend that I'm straight. The problem is that when I'm pretending, I end up convincing myself I'm straight. I keep coming close to fully accepting myself as a gay girl, and then I start back at the beginning. After hanging out with my straight friends for a while I come home and think: Ha! What was I thinking? I'm not gay. And then I start to believe that I can easily be in a relationship with guy even though I'm not attracted to him, or that I am attracted to him because I can somewhat admire his looks. I guess part of it is trying to fit in, and then their feelings are artificially rubbing of on me. What makes it worse is that I hear the girls saying that another girl is pretty or whatever, so I end up thinking that my feelings for other girls are normal, even though I know they are more than what my friends are talking about. It's all really confusing. I keep going back through this "I'm straight - maybe bi - I'm gay" cycle. It makes me start thinking that being gay is all in my head because I act differently when I'm with my straight friends, and I start thinking this a normal thing for 16-year-old girls to go through. Has anyone else been through something like this when questioning or trying to accept themself?
I've been going through the same thing for years. What I'm going to suggest to you is not to put so much stress on yourself in trying to find a label - - you'll drive yourself nuts. Let things just flow. Don't label yourself.
You sound gay to me..I guess it comes dowm to if you're sexually attracted to men. If yoy see them and rhink of having sex with them. Recognizing they are attractive isn't the same thing. If you're sexually attracted to both, you're bi and if you favor girls, you're bi with a preferance for girls. But sont stress it so much. Itll come together. Oh and don't pretend to be anyone you're not! JuJust be you
It sounds like you're trying to conform yourself to be straight when you are out with your friends. If you have to pretend to be straight, then I doubt you're straight. However you could be bi. Maybe go out by yourself or with a neutral friend and see how you react to women and men.
