Okay, so I have posted here before; it was about me being pansexual. I am sure about that now, but I have a new question now. I love the thought of having sex. I mean, of course not now, but when I reach my college years. However, I feel no lust for anyone, whatsoever. I have looked at people my age, people older than me, people my friends deem "hot" or "sexy" but I still feel no lust. I'm so confused! Sex is a huge yes for me later on (even though I am only 14), yet lust is nonexistent. Unless I get close to someone and start to feel more than friendly feelings for them. Is this just because of hormones? Or something else? I don't know. I know you guys may say "You are only 14! No need to worry about this stuff now" or something like that, but I do want to know. Everyone else is feeling lust and things, but I can't at all. I really want to know what is going on. So :help:?
Uh, you don't know if everyone is feeling lust or not. But I guess there's nothing wrong with you, you don't have to want to have sex right now. Even people that are in a relationship don't feel horny all the time. It comes with time, really. Don't worry about that. I guess it's probably hormones, yeah. Also, some people have higher sex drive than others.
You're really young. I didn't lust after people at 14 unless I was in a relarionship and skme ppp need romance to be sexually intetested..could be that
To mwaffles: I do know everyone is feeling lust. Why? My school is the most open school you will ever come across. Everyone knows who everyone is horny for and everyone knows when you lost your virginity, when you have had sex etc. This is especially true in my year. I can tell you when people who are not virgins, how old they were when they lost it. So, yeah I do know. I don't meet to sound sassy or rude or anything, I'm just letting you know. To StfuAahlee: Are you basically saying some people need emotional attachment before any of that occurs? If so, is that technically demisexual if I have the info on that right? I don't know. Thanks for your guys help. I appreciate it.
Yes that's what I mean. Idk what demisexual mean...sexual orientations etc have gotten much more complicated over the years. I can't keep up with all of the different classifications lol
demisexuality is when someone does not experience sexual attraction until a very strong romantic/emotional bond is formed with someone. in your post you talk about lust, which is more directly related to one's sex drive/libido than attraction. also, i would like to point out that many people first need to get close to someone before desiring sex with that person. that's pretty normal. however, demisexuality isn't about not lusting after anyone, it's about not experiencing sexual attraction towards anyone. anyway, just because sex is the latest best thing at your school does not mean that that is typical of every school/everyone your age/the world in general. i really think that you should keep that in mind when you say/think that EVERYONE is doing it. i understand that you may feel alienated/alone because it seems like everyone else is into something and you aren't yet, but seriously. not everyone experiences everything at the same time. there is no biological clock inside of you set to activate your sex drive when you become a set age. some people just experience things later than others. hell, i didn't get my period until i was 17. my advice to you is to be patient. hell, i dare say that you're not even alone in this at your school. if anything, others are probably feeling the same peer pressure/alienation as you. if you were to confront them about it they may lie because they want to fit with everyone else, but yeah. i really wouldn't be surprised if that were the case.
I have an annoyingly high libido now, but when I was your age? Nothing, not even a little bit. I didn't really get interested in sex till I was in my early 20s. I remember how confusing it was when all my fellow teenagers seemed obsessed with sex and I just wasn't feeling it. I was sure something was wrong with me. It's actually completely normal and even common for women to not have much of a sex drive till they're in their 20s and sometimes even 30s. Looking back I think a lot of the girls I knew were TRYING to be more lusty than they really were. Not all of them for sure, but at least a couple of my close friends have admitted that that was the case.
To Jacki: I have thought of this possibility. However, it just doesn't feel right. It is hard to explain but if I describe myself as such, it doesn't work. Because I know I can be sexually attracted to somebody, but a lot of times that comes after an emotional bond has formed. Not all the time, but it does seem that way since that is out it is 9 out of 10 times. To Femmeme: That makes sense. Thank you for that insight. That could be it now that I think about it.
