I'm a 15 year old male and until recently I believed that I was fully heterosexual, as I had been solely attracted to girls since around 12 years old, just after I started puberty. Recently however while I seem to remain only romanticly attracted to girls, I seem to have become sexually aroused by the concept of sex with other males, and while I've never had feelings for a male I know, it also seems like my sexual interest in girls has gradually decreased. For example when I was 13 I could get an erection just by thinking about an attractive girl, yet now I can look at naked pictures of women online and in many cases not get aroused. I don't understand what is going on and I dont feel like myself, I also feel alone as most other people seem to believe the idea that their sexual orientation was fixed at birth or in early life. Can anyone offer any advice to me on this matter, or has anyone found themselves in a similar situation? Thanks
Many of us go through a similar stage of confusion, myself included. I've actually written about my experience going through this confusion last week on this forum (here). This is even more confusing when you don't have anyone else you can relate to to better understand what you're going through. It's the kind of thing that you will need some time figuring out. If anything however, you are still yourself. Your sexuality is only one of the many aspects that makes "You". There is also nothing wrong with those thoughts either. I think the best advice would be to try and not deny that part of you, else it will make things more confusing. Oh, and welcome to EC!
Since you are 15, I would not rush to put a label on it just yet. You may end up completely gay or possibly bisexual. You may even end up straight. If you start finding yourself sexually desiring other guys you see or know in public, there's a good probability you will going in the direction of bi or gay. However, if this sexual interest is some passing curiosity or a temporary excitement, then you could possibly end up straight. For example, you may be turned on by the dangerousness or taboo of the concept of sex between males, but may not actually be attracted to men or want to participate in the act. Does this make sense?
Thanks for the replies and yeah that seems to make sense, although the question is what sort of timeframe would it become more than a passing curiosity, and if so would I lose the attraction I have towards girls?
It's not exactly possible to tell "how long", it depends mostly on the person. Whether you'd lose attraction towards girls also depends on whether you find yourself closer to being bisexual (or Pan) or closer to being gay. I think the sooner you accept that part of you, the sooner you'll come to understand to which label your sexual orientation resembles the most. In my case it took me several years because I was in serious denial about my sexuality. I used to experience only physical/sexual attraction males, but emotional/romantic attraction to females, but nowadays I feel both physical and emotional attraction to males, and feel no attraction towards females. Probably because I've come to accept it, so I'm comfortable with the idea of being in a romantic relationship with a male.
