I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years, and I just found out that he had 3 sexual encounters with a man six years ago. He said he is ashamed and that he is not attracted to guys. I don't know if I should believe that he wouldn't want to do that again. Does that mean he could be gay? I don't know what to do about this situation.
If your boyfriend enjoys having sex with you, can keep his dick hard, and enjoys himself when performing oral on you, he's probably not gay. Many gay guys have slept with a few women in their past, and it doesn't make them straight. It's possible that your boyfriend is like 95% straight, 5% gay / bi. That's totally fine and normal, and if he tells you he has no interest in sleeping with guys, you should believe him, and be happy that he trusted you enough to tell you the truth about this. On the other hand, he could be repressing some gay desires. He could be more bi than he thinks, and ti could be something he might want to explore. Would you be okay with that? He won't be able to ever firgure this out though until he gets past feeling 'ashamed' about it. There's nothing wrong with having some small amount of attraction to guys. In the end though, there's a good chance he's straight, and was just experimenting. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt, until or unless something else happens. Encourage him to talk about it and feel okay about what happened.
The fact that he's "ashamed" might suggest that he has some sort of internalized homophobia going on which conflict with same-sex attractions he may or may not have. In other words, he may be bisexual but afraid to admit it due to insecurities. I've never really heard of 100% straight guys having sexual encounters with other guys, let alone 3 times. So that in itself says something. Not saying it's not possible though. And if he is bi, do you view that negatively? If so, why? As long as he's in a committed relationship with you then you shouldn't worry about him cheating with a guy any more than you'd worry about him cheating with a girl. I don't see why you'd view it any differently than if he said he had sexual encounters with other girls in the past.
Welcome to EC! Might he possibly want to hook up with a guy again? Perhaps. Or perhaps not. Right now, it sounds like he doesn't. And I don't see any reason not to believe that. I'd definitely tell him that you're feeling insecure about this revelation, and that it might take you some time to come to grips with it. Lex
Thanks. Everyone's post is very helpful. My boyfriend does enjoy having sex with me and loves to pleasure me orally. He tells me he loves me and that he is sure he wants to be with me and only me. I just hope he is not lying to himself. I wanted to see how normal it was to experiment and then be sure that you are straight or if he will always have that curiosity. He says he's not bi or gay. I just don't want to wonder about it later on.
