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Not really sure...

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Envira, May 22, 2013.

  1. Envira

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    So...

    I've been considering my orientation for a while now, and I just sorta came to terms with the fact that I'm definitely not straight. Honestly, I'm pretty sure I'm bi, but I might be lesbian, and I might just be bi-curious.

    So I haven't really had a "crush" on or "liked" a girl yet, and I've liked several guys over the years. The thing is, when I see a guy I like, I get that fluttery feeling in my stomach, which I don't get around girls, and it's the same when I think about being in a relationship with a guy. But when I think about having sex with a guy, or anything remotely sexual even, I feel like it would be really weird and kinda gross. But I get kinda turned on when I think about having sexual relations with a girl, or anything like it. And i would totally be open to having a relationship with a girl. Like I would do the whole thing.

    I also have another friend, and she's bi too. And we flirt for fun, and it's nothing serious, but say, if she were to touch my leg or my waist, I would get that fluttery feeling. But I also flirt with one of my guy friends, and it's the same with him.

    So... I'm not quite sure. I think I'm bi, but I also think there's a possibility of something else. I mean, I kinda feel as if I'm more into girls than guys.

    Any opinions?
     
  2. FemCasanova

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    You could be a hetero-romantic lesbian. Or a few other labels. Just keep in mind, you`re still really young, and it`s kind of hard to know our sexuality until we`ve gotten some experiences under our belt. Not for everyone, mind me, some knows for sure really early. But for the rest of us, we need a little time and a few failed or successful attempts. Now, if thinking about guys sexually turn you off, then chances are they`re not your thing. It might change if you`re with a guy you like and trust, then maybe the sexual part won`t feel as gross. Or, it could be that you`re simply not into guys sexually. But for as long as you still do have romantic feelings towards guys, maybe keep that gate open until you know for sure. Just don`t be in a hurry to figure it out, because you have loads of time. You can consider yourself bisexual for now, and just figure out a more specific label later. I didn`t figure it out properly until I was about 21 or 22. Until then I thought I was a straight girl who just liked to mess around with chicks when drinking. Though, I was a bit slow on the uptake, so I guess I`m a bad example :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: It was really quite obvious, thinking back. But even now I do consider myself a lesbian, but 80% only, as I can get that fluttery feeling over male specimens, but then more the romantic type, and only males who I would never have to see naked! Lol. So I guess I`m a bi-romantic lesbian, who just don`t like real life males. Sexuality is complicated, lol :slight_smile:

    But take your time. Don`t rush into any experiences you`re not ready for, just to figure things out, because you do have a lot of time. Just enjoy this phase, enjoy the fluttery feelings and remember we don`t have to cram ourselves into a box.
     
  3. Envira

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    Thanks. Yeah I kinda just wish that clear labels existed for every variation of sexuality, so we didn't all have to wait in confusion. I've still got a while to go...
     
  4. FemCasanova

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    There are a lot of clear labels, it`s often just knowing which exact one we fit into that can take some time. Then again, labels are overrated, I think. I mean, they don`t help you find that perfect person to be with, or tell you exactly who will make you happy. That`s for gut feeling and time to decide. It gives you sort of a zone to search within, but if we get impatient and decide for a box to put ourselves into, we might look only in that zone, and miss out on someone we simply thought didn`t fit. That`s why it`s kind of a good thing that we don`t always know from scratch exactly what we`re looking for. You`ll figure out what you like, prefer, don`t like. And in the meantime, you get a lot of worthwhile experiences :slight_smile: There`s a bright side to most things :slight_smile:
     
  5. Envira

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    I agree. I have to say, in a homophobic world full of boxes that people are shoved into and categories and stereotypes, although the LGBTQ community has been really open and supportive, we've also created some boxes. I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like I have to choose what my sexual orientation is going to be. And I'm still not sure. And I feel rushed. Is it really so important that I choose between being lesbian and bisexual, or anything else? I think the LGBTQ community should really consider this. Right?
    :/
     
  6. Envira

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    And actually so, I thought I was bi, and then I realized that I honestly don't like guys at all, whatsoever and started to classify myself as a lesbian, but I don't know. I feel like I need to decide and I keep going back on my word. I'm so confused.