Hey there, I posted a lot lately but I just don't know where else I should ask this stuff... I'm 15 years old and I have been questioning my sexuality for about half a year now. Last year I couldn't even think of being lesbian or even bi but now... It's like something is telling me that I can't be happy while dating a boy but what if this is just a phase? What if I am just thinking I am gay even though if I am not? What if I am lying about this to myself? I don't want to talk to anyone about it, because what if I am straight after all and then everybody will be mad at me? I don't want the other's to be mad at me but I can't tell what I am. I am just worried about labeling myself as a lesbian/bi and then turning out to be straight. I couldn't forgive myself if that happened. As I said in one post: I keep on checking out guys but for some reason I just can't think of being with them. And if I am around girls I feel comfortable and I would love to date one to try it out, but what if I am straight in the end? I'm just so confused :help: I hope you can understand, Lisa
Hi, I think a lot of us worry about coming out and then ending up straight. I know that i have, and its a really scary thought. Remember you dont have to label yourself if you are worried about this. Often its hard to find a label that fits because people are complex and labels are not. It does sound to me like you are a lesbian or leaning towards women. That being said, remember only you can know/define your sexuality and n one else can really say for sure. hope this helps, Tess
I would recommend looking through this study on female bisexuality. I've been going through some of the same stuff, and found it interesting, as well as some of the only research I could find on the topic. I don't know if you're interested in reading all the academic writing, but anyway, it followed 79 non-heterosexual women over a 10-year time period. It found that bisexual or unlabeled women were not in fact very likely to pick a side as time went on, but in fact more women switched from a monosexual label (straight women weren't selected initially, but some switched to that over the course of the study) to bisexual or unlabeled. One of the main conflicts I've had in dealing with this stuff is the idea, even though I know it's not true, that I can't like both men and women and if I like some men then I've been lying to myself and I CAN'T BE WITH A GIRL EVER EVEN IF I REALLY WANT TO OMG. Like I said before though, that's not true. Just trying to relax and let things happen and be open to things is probably the best plan of action here even if it's not easy. I don't see myself having anything approaching sexual contact of any kind until I'm on my own in college at least. But when that happens I figure I can still choose to some extent what I want in a relationship, since I know I can be physically attracted to both sexes, and whatever I end up with should be pretty nice regardless. Anyway: attraction to boys probably doesn't mean that you have to throw away your homosexual card forever and be the straightest straight girl who has ever straighted.
hiya I'm also a girl, almost 18, and in exactly the same situation as you are. I told my auntie about this and that I'm falling for one of my straight friends that's a girl. She's totally open minded about stuff like this and she was just like 'just try experimenting for a bit and see what you like. Don't feel like you have to put a label on yourself. When you go away to uni you'll be able to have so many more experiences and if it turns out that are you gay, then that's perfectly okay. And if after experimenting a bit, you find that you are straight, then that's fine too.' or something along those lines I know how you feel because I'm struggling so much with my sexuality. I have a couple of friends that identify as bi-sexual and all of my friends are totally open minded, so I know that coming out to them would be no big deal. But whenever they ask if i'm straight/bi/gay, I just can't admit it, I always say that I'm straight. Even though I know I'm at least bi-sexual. but yeah, please don't stress about it too much, though I know it's probably all you can think about right now. Even if you did come out as gay, but then later on discovered that you are actually straight, your friends or whoever won't be mad at you. If they do that then they're not true friends. Sorry this was a bit of an essay haha :L but like I said I'm in EXACTLY the same situation as you, so anytime you want to chat, just message me
