So I've been doing as all of you encouraged and exploring my orientation without labels. It's pretty liberating if not confusing. However I have a question about sexual attraction itself. All my life I assumed sexual attraction was this attraction to somebody that made you immediately want to jump into bed. However, after thinking a bit I'm wondering if that's just lust. I think if someone could clarify whether or not sexual attraction is immediate or developed over getting to know someone and their personality it would help clarify a lot of things.
Well, for me; It always took some time to get hard to the porno I'd watch, not like super long, but it took like a few seconds, like maybe 2-3. I might not have been helpful.
From what I've read...it depends (no this is not a cop-out) It depends mostly on the person. Beware of prepositions like "just", especially when applied to fairly hard-to-define concepts like lust. For starters, there are those who are only aroused if there is an emotional attachment to the object of their desire (demisexuals), then there are those who can separate the physical from the emotional component (probably the closest to your definition of lust) yet who still yearn for more than just the mechanics of sexual gratification. I think you are perhaps asking the wrong question. A better question might be: Is sexual attraction critical for the initiation of an emotional relationship, or is it the other way around?
I, personally, need to know someone before genuine sexual attraction develops. I can be sexually curious before then, and I can even be aroused if the right stimulation is applied, but I won't be sexually attracted to someone until there's some sort of history between us. Other people think I'm crazy as the motivation for them to even get into a relationship with their partners was their immediate sexual attraction to them. There's no real clear cut answer. Sexual attraction can be immediate, or it can take time. I've known people who have been immediately attracted (sexually) to people they've just met, and these same people have developed a sexual attraction months after first meeting someone. There is no wrong or right with sexual attraction, how people experience it is largely down to the individual and to a lesser extent the other person.
I know it's been a little while, but I just wanted to thank you guys for helping out, it really helped clarify such a confusing topic to me!
Depends on the person. I am sexually attracted to women before I get to know to them and as for men I need to form an emotional connection 1st.
