Right now I don't know who I am. I do know I'm not straight since I've been attracted to the same sex for my whole life. I'm not sure if I like guys or not. I keep on going back and forth between thinking I like guys and thinking I don't like them. This has been going on since I was twelve. I'm almost seventeen. I feel like I'll be in this horrible stage forever. It's so depressing being this limbo.
I'm 22 and I was confused about my sexual orientation for a while (I came from a homophobic family in a close minded community). When I was 17 I identified as Pansexual, but wasn't totally sure until I was about 17 and a half (previously thought I was straight then bisexual). I know it's troubling right now, but don't pressure yourself. You have plenty of time right now to figure it out. I've met people in their 30s and 40s and still not sure if their going left, right, center, or up (or all of them). I highly doubt that you're going to be waiting that long to figure out your sexual orientation though. I've found that (through friends) people usually get a better understanding of who they are through experience (I'm not saying to go have wild sex, I'm saying take your time) and usually identify one way or another by about 20-25.
Some people never figure out 100% but that's not important. What's important is you learn to accept yourself as you are, and not let it get in the way of your dreams and happiness (cheesy, right?) I haven't even figured out which label fits me perfectly, because honestly several can, but I choose bisexuality for the sake of simplicity, and it fits! Worrying over anything else would be splitting hairs at this point, unless I experienced some radical shift or revelation. How about lesbian with exceptions, gay leaning bisexual, or 'into girls'?
I agree with gravechild's assessment. I am going through weird shit too. Today, since it's getting warm out, I'm gravitating to being aroused by females. But when I see a man or hear a gay story, it's like suddenly I wake up and I see the world much more clearly - like I have an awakening and I feel like I'm gay. But very much, I have either bisexual fantasies slightly leaning to women. But yesterday, I had a gay fantasy. I don't even know what sets me off. I love my girlfriend though, physically/sexually too. When I fantasize, I have no idea what I will fantasize about. It's a big question mark for me. When I hear a story of a man's wife calling him to bed, but he's really gay, I feel like that man, like I should come out of the closet and be fully gay. But I'm also very attracted to women. So I'm confused as hell. And it bugs me. I'm screaming out to be gay. My solution? A) I'm labeling myself as bisexual, if anything. I understand that different attractions have different qualities. So I'm going with that for now. B) I am keeping an open mind to whatever happens. If I meet a guy, I'll go for it, with communication with my girlfriend, of course. Maybe a threesome to start, or something, with a fellow bi male. We'll see. Something also tells me that if I'm with a guy, I will miss women too, and I mean pussy. I love pussy too. So, I'm a little bit between a rock and a hard place. C) There are many people with attractions to men who have been in successful relationships with women. Maybe I'll be one of them. Also, I'm basing this on the fact that if I were fully gay, I wouldn't have been into women my entire life. Some days I feel super gay. But with the warm weather, I just wanna get close to some women and go, boinga boinga. But the thing around men is that I experience an awakening, but not so much the warmth and beauty (in my pants too) that I get around women. So I am confused, but I'm doing my best to just rest in that confusion and be patient. It's difficult. But I'm going with it, I guess.
