Have you ever wanted/tried to be a different sexual orientation? Why?

I kinda wanted to be fully bisexual rather than a biromantic homosexual for a while, but that obviously is never going to pan out (hey, I just punned ) It is frustrating to occasionally be romantically interested in the opposite gender but never acting on said romantic attraction, because I cannot be sexually attracted, at all to the opposite gender. So yes, I kinda want to be bisexual, but I enjoy the nicer reputation that being gay, rather than bi, gives you.

 

No. I've always been too busy with my gender.

 

HAH! You wanna be bisexual?? I mean, I'm in no way trying to offend you, but being bisexual has its downsides also. Namely, biphobia, which comes from both the LGT and the straight community. Don't try to force yourself into other SO's because of its perks, every SO has its perks and downsides, and each and one of them is unique
Anyway, my answer was no, I've never tried to change myself, although I've always sought the truth of my SO, so in a way I've been open to change.

 

The thing is my orientation HAS changed some times and it's called fluid sexuality. Perhaps not the direction of the sex that I'm attracted to, but the degree of hypersexuality to asexuality. I'm now thinking people as mere something that's just there and I can't see the appeal into people.

 

Yes, I wanted to be straight, and I made attempts at being straight. That didn't even come close to being successful.

Then I realized being bisexual is even better than being straight, for me at least.

 

I think that attempting to change one's orientation is actively harmful - if you're only having gay urges, don't try and force yourself to have straight ones just so that you can identify as bisexual, and vice versa.

As has already been mentioned, bi people have it rough - both from the straight and lesbian/gay communities, so the discrimination is coming from all sides - so wanting to be bi just for the label seems to me disingenuous.

 

...Where do I even begin?

I guess I'll start here: I have always wanted, more than anything, to be asexual. I hate being attracted to guys, and I'm pretty sure I'd hate being attracted to girls just as much. In fact, I used to think that sexual attraction was just a phase everyone goes through that they grow out of eventually. But when I discovered that that's not the case and that I'll be stuck liking guys for the rest of my life, I was pretty pissed.

And, well, to make matters worse I discovered that sexual attraction's not a phase at the same exact time I discovered I was gay. I tried so hard to then associate women with that good, warm, fuzzy feeling I got whenever I saw a hot guy, I would always fantasize about having sex with women, and I'm not gonna get anymore detailed than that. But did it work? Nope. I mean, there are some women who are kind of...you know but they're always completely dwarfed by what I feel for men and it's not because I tried to change who I was attracted to.

And still, while I would (and still) have much rather been straight than gay, asexuality conquered both of them by a longshot. Being attracted to others is so distracting and annoying, I really don't understand how anyone can see it as a gift. And I always thought of myself as asexual. At one point I even thought I was asexual because I didn't want sex despite the attraction I felt to men and the label seemed to fit me well, so I came out as an asexual to everyone...yeah, I shouldn't have done that :eusa_doh:

 

I certainly agree that trying to change your orientation is futile and harmful. And that bisexuals have to deal with biphobia, which isn't exactly fun. However, I do understand the desire to be bisexual. I don't think its just for the label. Being bisexual can feel like a freedom to love whoever we want, not having biology to contend with. In practice, its irrelevant, of course. Then again, that is me trying to explain why I'm glad I'm bi(ish, its complicated). I might not feel that way if I weren't.

 

Nope. Always been happy being gay.

Todd

 

I guess there have been times where I would have preferred to be monosexual, be that hetero or homo.

At times it seems like I would have received greater support from a few groups-who-shall-not-be-named if my problems had been connected to the fact I was a lesbian rather than my inability to understand why my being bisexual was such an issue for people in and out of the LGBTQ community. But then the grass is always greener eh? I'm sure if I were monosexual I'd have moments where I wished I were anything but.

 

Yes. At first I suppressed it and after that I called myself bi because I didn't want to "give up" guys per se, but I am much much much happier now that I stopped trying to do that and have accepted myself

 

I dated girls, didn't really have any lets say relations, just an accessory kinda deal I guess :icon_wink to throw of the gay scent since I never really accepted it until a while of not dating at all I have never had a crush on a girl before at all tho sooo I couldn't say that I would ever want to change my orientation I wouldn't enjoy it at all.

 

Well hey, I'm happy to help, even if it's not intentional, lol!

As far as I know, you can't get yourself castrated on request. And even if you could, from what I understand, castration won't rid your sexual attractions/desires, it'll only decrease them at best.

 

Oh, yes, I have tried to be bisexual even though when I first came out, it was as bisexual. I dated girls and guys, but I felt so awkward being with a guy because I forced myself to like men. It was pretty miserable, but I've met some awesome guys that I kinda screwed over. Or at least it feels that way; I was very up front about my feelings. And it saddened me that I could not feel the way someone should feel if they're genuinely attracted to someone.

It still stings a bit, but there's nothing that I can do, so I've learned to accept who I am. It has not been easy at all because I thought I could change. I denied my feelings for women for years and it really screwed me up. I wish I would've found this site a long time ago, my life would have been so much easier.

 

I tried to erase/get-rid of my gay thoughts/feelings one spring LOL
Personally I'd like to have no attractions - guess that'd be asexual? non-sexual?

 

I did. I almost enrolled in ex-gay therapy...

Since I used to be Christian, I would pray every night for God to change me. I wanted to be "normal". I didn't want to be gay. I wanted to be more girly just so I would fit in.

Then one day it hit me. I was never going to change. No matter how much I prayed, I was not ever going be straight. No matter what I did, nothing would "make me straight". Then I was left with a choice, I had to do one of two things. I could change, or I could die. Thankfully, I chose to change. That was when I stopped trying to change myself. I didn't accept it, but I stopped trying to change it.

 

I thought I was straight until I realized I was bi at the age of 14;
after 2 years I got up with people saying that I just wanted to be cool
and "became" a lesbian. didn't work that well and I got so frustrated
I "turned" asexual. After that, I "became" straight again and "now" I'm bi.

Don't wanna change though, I've experimented enough already.

 

I can't speak to the rest of your post (for instance wanting to be bisexual to be "unique"), but I get that above part. You can count me from the other side - if asked to explicitly define my sexual orientation I'd probably go with something like "gay but heterocurious, maybe somewhat bisexual." It's a pain. I do indeed wish simply for a more definable orientation. Kinsey 0, 3, or 6 are things I would desperately like to identify as.

But I'm not, unfortunately. I'm in the weird middle ground. I'm keeping my options open with women, even though I'm pretty sure I'm not sexually attracted. I can crush so hard emotionally though. The dissonance of it is ever so irritating. Ugh.