I don't know exactly what my deal is, I'm not sure if it is because I have not met the right person yet, or if I am literally incapable of love. My internet crush has not been online for 2 months already and... I'm not sure but... I have been thinking; do I really want sex? I did find sex to be highly overrated, if it even feels and gives the same as Masturbation, it is clearly being overrated in my opinion. The one thing I always wanted to do in a relationship was cuddle and make-out with my ideal woman more than sex with her honestly. I have felt sexual attraction and do find the want and need for sex but, I honestly do not want it at all. I still want to get close to my internet crush, cuddle with her; love her, kiss her, make out with her and sleep with her (not the sex pun). So what is the deal, am I just weird and not interested in sex, or am I really and finally coming to terms with my Asexuality?
...wait, wha?? i hope that was just a poor choice of words on your part and you don't honestly think a lack of interest in sex is at all relates to an inability to love. well first of all i dare say that for most people, including asexuals, sex and masturbation are two distinctly different things. that aside, asexuality has nothing to do with not wanting to have sex, nor does it have anything to do with not being interested in sex. a person can still be heterosexual, homosexual, pansexual, etc etc and not have a strong desire or interests in sex. in my humble opinion, this does not sound like asexuality specifically because of the bolded part and what i said above. also, if you experience sexual attraction then by definition you are not asexual, imho. you may be gray-asexual if you only rarely experience sexual attraction or demisexual if you only experience sexual attraction towards someone to whom you have a really strong bond (which may or may not yet include your current crush), but again NONE of these sexualities (and in fact NO sexualities) are defined by the level of interest one has in sex. even if you look up the definitions of homosexuality or some other sexuality, they are all about sexual attraction. my humble advice is to focus on that sexual attraction that you say you feel rather than your interest in/desire for sex. to whom do you experience sexual attraction? have you only experienced it very rarely? would you say that you only experience under strict circumstances, like a demisexual? or could it be that you do experience it regularly, you just have no desire to act upon it? hopefully you'll get further in understanding yourself this way...
Well, I don't get out of the house often and I rarely socialize that often, probably should not have mentioned that. I have had sexual attraction and boners to many women before in the past, I just never felt I should act on them for some reason, nor have I wanted to for that matter, mostly due to differences between us. I ask this because I never did find sex at all that much important, I was also talking with a group of friends and they all thought I was weird for thinking it was overrated. One of them mentioned that their relationship is only being held together by sex as it is the only thing they enjoy with each other. If relationships build that much importance on it, as well as even love, I don't think it's right for me in that case which is why I think it is Asexuality. In fact just being aware of my knowledge makes me not want to have either of it or take that burden.
for some people sex can be really important to a relationship and to others it is not, but that isn't connected to sexuality. there are many types of attraction that are involved in relationships/love, society in general just focuses on sexual things for some reason and this in turn causes everyone to expect certain things by default. perhaps this post will interest you: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexua...after-breakup-confused-again.html#post1471866 as i said, even a heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, etc can not have a strong interest in sex while still being their respective sexualities. there are many people who would never act upon their sexual attraction unless there was emotional/romantic attraction or some other form of attraction also present. that may be what you described about never wanting to act upon your sexual attraction because of the differences between (or rather, lack of other attraction towards) that other person. does that make sense....? perhaps i'm simply misunderstanding you. either way, if you feel that asexuality best describes your sexual orientation and that's the label you wish to use then of course you should. i'm just trying to offer more information about it and attraction.
I still believe Hetero-romantic Asexual fits me though, mostly because I feel sex is given too much of a burden on society and is given more credit than due deserve. I can have sex of course, but only to please the one I love, if I enjoy it in the long run as well, well then. As for Masturbation vs. Sex, I meant the feeling they give, is it not the same, if it is, I am sure it is clearly overrated still. Of course that would classify me as Demi-sexual but the issue is, even Demi-Sexuals rely on sex at some point. I really think I can live without it and am really fine on not having it anyways. Basically, most people would probably not want to be in my idealistic view of a relationship and think I don't want it. I also never felt the need to actually act on anything I felt, not as much of fear of rejection, but never actually feeling like it.
i knew what you meant. i don't think most people would say they feel the same. *shrugs* "rely on" sex....?? having sex does not mean one relies on it for anything. i'm really not sure what you're trying to say. also, i think you have misunderstood demisexuality.... ANYONE can have sex to please their partner, including an asexual. sexual orientation is NOT defined by whether or not one has sex. i feel the need to point out that sexual attraction (an urge for sexual contract that is a direct result of someone else) does not invariably result in action for anyone. however, what you seem to be describing is a general lack of sexual desire, ie. a low sex drive. would you say that you never really feel the need to do anything sexual at all, regardless of whether or not another person is involved (ie. regardless of whether it's masturbation or sex)? imho, sexual attraction is one thing and sexual desire/libido is another. that would explain how you experience sexual attraction but never have any sexual desire (desire to actual have sex) regardless of how emotionally attached you are to someone (ie. your crush). anyway, you are right. i doubt your average person would say that they could live without sex. but again, i think that relates to libido which is a separate matter entirely from sexual orientations. for example, it is a common assumption that asexuals have non-existent/extremely low libidos, but that is just a stereo type. an asexual can have a libido that is as active as anyone else's. libido does not define their (or anyone else's) sexuality. anyway, as i said, i'm not trying to convince you to identify as anything other than what you feel is right for you. i am just trying to offer you more information. sorry if i'm confusing you along the way.
