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Maybe it's obvious in retrospect. maybe not.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Whiterabbit, Jun 3, 2013.

  1. Whiterabbit

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    Heey. So I guess I just needed to talk about it with people who've been through it before, but here's my situation.

    I'm 21 now, a girl and I've dated many many boys. I've never been opposed to being with a girl at all, I've even outright flirted with them. But more and more recently, I haven't been enjoying intimate sexual encounters with men. I figured it was because of some mildly bad experiences but now I'm not so sure that is what it is. (if I'm honest with myself, I've never been fully satisfied in bed with a man. tmisorry)

    Looking back on my life, I've always been interested in girls, the biggest crush I ever had was on a gorgeous brunette in high school. I love how girls look, how happy and carefree they can be and silly! There are boys I find attractive as well, but the feeling I get around women is more intense. I'm extremely suave with men, but around girls I stutter and blush and trip over everything. One look from the right woman can have me grasping for words while I try to fight a physical pull towards them.

    So I think I like-like women. And I don't know why this is so hard to come to terms with, because I feel like I've always known it. But now it's become very real and I'm scared, but I want to be brave enough to stop being with men just because it's easy and start seeing the people who will fill me with love in all it's aspects.

    So, wish me luck? <3

    Also any tips on how to tell if another woman is gay would be super helpful. I can't tell for the life of me.
     
  2. EllieAugust

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    Hi Whiterabbit,

    Welcome to EC and good for you!

    I think over time you will become less scared and more accepting and excited by your feelings. I am glad that you have begun the journey-- and sure you will soon be too!

    I am a little envious because I didn't face my sexual feelings for girls and am now in a relationship with a man I want to marry, but can't because of lurking confusion. Complicated! But maybe you can spare yourself this by experimenting now.

    The ways to know another woman is interested in women are: she tells you, her friends tell you, you meet her on an Internet dating site where she identifies as gay/ bisexual.

    Other good ways to meet lesbians might be in gay bars, lesbian nights at other bars, or in LGBTQ support groups if you have any of the above in the area you are in.

    I personally am a little shy about meeting people, and tend to use online dating as an in. You can also kind of "shop around" on there and chat with people while trying to figure out what your type might be, or what qualities you are looking for in a woman.

    Happy hunting!

    - Ellie