I have come to terms with myself and realized i may be a gay bisexual, it took about 2 years of confusion as i started to think about penises while masturbating to lesbian porn, and that its weird that it went away for a while to where i couldnt look at a males genitalia and was grossed out by looking at it. As time progressed i eventually started to slowly lose the physical attraction to women and i found myself turned on by guys and i realized how beautiful they were. I masturbated to women and i felt absolutely aroused until a couple a months ago and i found myself more aroused by male pornagraphy, my thoughts of male genitalia heightened its senses and it felt more pleasurable than masturbating to women. It's so weird as to the sporatic thoughts a couple years ago and how it really started to progress itself. I'm almost at the end of my trek, but theres another problem thats blocking my mind. It seems that everytime i actually do pleasure myself to guys, it makes me feel guilty and i dont know why, i enjoy the guys over the girls and it makes me guilty and makes me question if i really am gay, or its my mind fucking my thoughts. I know i am not straight at all, i have had a girlfriend but like i said not really into it, i kissed her and felt good, and i have had crushes on 2 girls, but i repressed my thoughts about guys and i forgot that i had them. I actually cuddled with a guy a couple months ago and i was extremely aroused and i knew from then i wasn't straight. Is it a phase, because really i dont see any interest in girls, and i love the male form more than the woman form. When it was vice versa, i found myself more attracted to shemale porn when i had no clue why, and girls who used dildos, and i guess i tucked my early homosexual thoughts until it burst.
Been there, done that. You still haven't quite fully accepted yourself yet, and no, homosexuality isn't a phase. With that out of the way, it's something that will gradually disappear as you become more comfortable not only with yourself and your sexuality, but also with the idea of being in a relationship with another male. Right now, you're somewhat at the same stage I was before I finally came to terms with my sexual orientation, where, although I'd be fantasizing about sex with good looking guys I'd seen or while watching gay porn, I'd always get completely turned off after the deed was done and returned to being the "completely heterosexual person that I was, because I loved a girl". Unfortunately for me (and you), it doesn't work that way, and as my attraction to females diminished, my attraction to males just increased continuously. Nowadays I don't feel guilty after masturbating to guys anymore. Rather than pretending the guy I fantasized about was "just for sex, no love because I'm not gay", I'm thinking about just cuddling, kissing and falling asleep in his arms afterwards. I'm enjoying every aspect of my adventures in dream land. I want to fall in love with a male, be in a relationship with male, and live my life with him.
Well first off; thinking about Penises when masturbating to porn is not really a sign of anything, it just shows you have intrusive thoughts, which I too have had. It also depends on how you are grossed out by male genitals; are you sickened but somewhat aroused by it? Also, don't let being turned on by gay porn decide you're all of a sudden gay now, hell; don't even let pornography determine your sexuality as some hetero males are turned on by gay porn and some hetero females agree that lesbian porn turns them on sometimes, as for getting turned on all of a sudden by gay porn, it could in fact mean it is a phase. One thing I learned about Masturbation; especially excessive masturbation, is that your brain will require Dopamine. Dopamine is a hormone in your body that expresses the feeling of pleasure, such as eating good food, or in this case; sexual desires. Sexual acts make a huge increase on Dopamine in your brain. As time goes on; your brain gets addicted, and proven by many cases in marriages; sex appeal and sex drive no longer feels as good anymore, so your brain will go through great lengths to find some other way of gaining Dopamine; hence the masturbation to gay porn. I know that because I for one currently fine beastiality hentai arousing right now. I for one of course would NEVER have sex with any animal or anything, I even find people who have sex with animals in pornography movies to be sick and stoop a pretty a low point in their careers. But yet I still found myself attracted to this kind of hentai, why would I if I'd never do it in real life, because your brain wants more Dopamine; and even if it is not the case, many would agree on this site that pornography proves nothing in regards to your sexuality. So what I got to say is, how much do you masturbate; and how much do you constantly check out guys and girls. Maybe you should find some straight porn or lesbian porn to masturbate to and see how you feel after that, my guess is probably more confused than you currently are now, I bet you 5 if that'll be the case. Second, after you do; take a break for a LOOOOOOOOONG time, and try to hit on and experiment with other men and women and see how you feel. Try not to let what you masturbate to define yourself in the end either.
That out of the way, my attraction to males has increased, because during football, i started to become aroused by other guys and i learned to hide it and i feel attracted to men a lot more than women.
Well like I said, to be sure completely; 100%, try straight or lesbian porn just one more time and see how you feel afterwards. It just seems fair and logical to do so. Then experiment; see who you like more.
I couldnt get excited by lesbian porn, at all, even though i used too, but than i realized that i wasnt attracted to women at all in life, i find guys a lot more attractive
Feeling guilty after masturbating to a homosexual fantasy is pretty par for the course for someone who is still a bit conflicted. Hell, I have long been aware of my homosexual feelings and, in theory, accepted them. But even at my age, I sometimes have a sort of Pavlovian reaction after I orgasm, I'll momentarily feel a sort of residual guilt and think about being turned on by a woman. The thing is, I know better and can overcome the guilt much more easily than I could when I was younger and trying to convince myself that I was straight. It's true that you can have a lot of fantasies about things you wouldn't actually do. But I don't think that applies here. I also don't think that dopamine has anything to do with it. Yes, there's a connection between dopamine and endorphins flooding your circuits with pleasure signals. But there's no neurological reason that homosexual fantasies would do this more than heterosexual fantasies.
