Alright, this is sort of all over so I'll start it in list form. 1. I'm a lesbian. 2. But a few male celebrities make me crazy. (Seriously, Robert Downey Jr.?!) 3. Thus, my friends don't believe me when I say I'm gay... How should I describe it to them? They've all been very helpful and supportive since I first started figuring all this out, but they don't seem to understand that there's not just gay, straight and bi. They don't even understand the Kinsey scale! I just don't want them to feel like I'm not honest, because I am. Yes, I will marry a woman-I'm sure of it. But a few dudes are, well, sexy. I'm tired of being called bi, because I'm not open to date guys right now and probably won't again. But if I say I'm gay and then fangirl over some male somewhere out making billions of dollars, everyone thinks I'm either confused or a liar. If this is even remotely worth your time, please respond! I'd like some thoughts from non-hetero people, especially if you deal with similar issues. Everyone, have a great day.(!)
Damn you sound JUST like my sister with that Robert Downey Jr thing! She says that ALL THE TIME! But anyhow, I understand your situation. I made the mistake of trying to test the waters when I was ready to finally come out, and I told my best friend that I was bi instead of saying I was gay, which I was a lil confused at that time anyhow. So, when he kept sweeping the situation under the rug, I just assumed the role of a hetero and tried to force my way into many straight relationships, all which were pathetic attempts/failures lols. So a year later, when I decided I'm going to be myself and not care about disapproval, I told my friend that I was gay. He said he'd get me some help and yadda yadda, and I told him i didn't need it. (I chalked his response up as shock by the way.) He refused to believe I was gay and just kept saying I was bi due to all of the times I'd tried to date girls (playing straight is SO easy). And there were many times where we argued about it. But after a while, he started to be okay with it, saying things like he didn't mind if i was or not because it didn't change me and he stopped rolling his eyes whenever I made an occasional gay remark. It wasn't until I fully came out to everyone early this year in like February that he seemed to fully accept it. Basically, it took 3 years for my best friend to be alright with it. 1 year was letting the info settle in his brain, 1 year was forcing me to be bi, 1 year was the concluding acceptance. So, what am I saying? Good question. Probably something along the lines of, you may have to clash with your closest of friends many times for them to understand all of this. Some straight people REALLY don't understand how being gay works, they really don't. It's simple, true, but at the end of the day, it's still rocket science! Even now, I say things like "I'd totally go straight for Ellen Degeneres" and most the times my friends blow it off or laugh or give me the wtf are you talking about face, but it took a long way to build up to this point. I had to work hard with 2 of my friends to gain their acceptance, and I'm still wary about being open around them. You just gotta keep workin with them, they'll eventually come around.
I can't help it...it must be his hair? Thank you for your insight. Some of the girls I've been friends with since elementary school often tease me about my best guy friend...might as well start introducing him as my platonic school friend who happens to be male. This is a messy world we live in. Oh, and the Ellen thing. I hope that was meant to be ironic because she's also gay, cause it was frickin hilarious!!
Just tell them that just because you don't want to date a guy, it doesn't mean you can't find them attractive.
Lmfaoo yeah but it's true, Ellen is a VERY handsome woman! Most my friends are girls and my best friends that I hang with more are both guys so I've never had that problem, but I understand whatcha mean. Heh maybe you SHOULD introduce him like that. "Hello person! This is my strictly-platonic-male-school-friend!" Heh the world is thick-headed, that's the problem.
I think I have more of an inspiration-based crush on Ellen more than anything else. But yeah, it's odd balancing the platonic male friend thing with my family because they don't know I'm gay but they also took a while to understand that he's just my best friend. Now that he's in a relationship it's easier. If only we could impose a social liberal opinion on everyone without it being horrid and hypocrisy...
I understand, families have a tendency to think ANYONE you're hanging out with a lot is your boy/girlfriend. I was hanging out with a female friend of mine and my sister kept telling my mom she saw us holding hands (my sis just LOVES putting me in awkward situations... she still says this to this DAY even though I'm out to both my mom and my sis). Heh so when my mom started making jokes about me and the girl, I got annoyed with it and came out. And you're so right about the opinion thingie! That's one of the reasons I aspire to be an author. the book series I'm working on has a message of accepting everyone BECAUSE we're all human. It's an obvious message, glossed up in fantasy, spiced with fiction, and a hint of sci-fi.
You can be straight and feel some attraction to others of the same sex. And you can be gay and feel some attraction to members of the opposite sex. No big deal.
Since you mentioned you're a writer I can't help but to feel rather great respect for your word choice as well as your opinions! Nice talking to ya.
