I don't know what to do, it's like no matter what or whatever I constantly do, I cannot seem to get my mind off of questioning my sexuality, how can I be gay if I never can get a hard on to men? How can I be gay if I never in my life never have had any emotional or sexual attraction to men, all my crushes were on women and I currently have one as I speak, I wish I never found that article on Cracked.com that talked about the "Sex Myths that are actually true" and mentioned the digit ratio theory that got me on the subject! I try looking at dudes and try to find anything but nothing exists to prove anything, I don't have any issues with homosexuality before or after and even during, I know it'd be fine if I did come out as gay, but nothing seems to exist or prove I am even the slightest bit, but yet I come on here and see stories and such that talk about people who went through their life thinking their straight but they were actually gay or Bi (in some cases), I never was that much of a sexual person to begin with and placed better on heavy emotions than actual intercourse. Nothing I do or not do seems to shut my mind off and stop questioning the subject, it's been two months now and not only is it interfering with my life, but it is annoying me crazy! My mind just keeps focusing on the subject, and it seems as though everything I do or don't do just points in a direction that I might be in fact in denial which does not seem like it because I try to see what is up with me, seriously, I know I have been on and on about this, but I sincerely need help, therapy is out of the question because I went to one and he tried to say "Asexuality does not exist." which I know for a fact does. I'm sure my feelings for women are real, but I still question! HELP!:tears:
As a gay person, I believe that sexuality is fluid. That sexuality and its defined barriers of heterosexuality or homosexuality stem from the deeply embedded idea of the homogeneous hetero-normative society. The fact is- being straight is simply the norm and will always will be. You will attempt to define yourself as being one or the other in accord with society- but do you know what I honestly think? I think you are just straight but a bit paranoid. If you have never had any incline to homosexual desires- then you are straight. That's my honest opinion. But that would be ignoring the fluidity of sexuality and the fact that it is possible to change over time. But in all honesty, does it really matter? How I see your current situation is that you have all your options opened to you. You have access to all the love. Don't worry about the label or the definition, just go for a swim with the realization that you may fall in love with either a man or a woman- who cares? it's all the same. They say love is blind for a reason... because it is- it doesn't discriminate between sex, religion, ethnicity, views or sexual orientation (maybe that is why we often make so many bad choices when it comes to love?)- so... my advice: stop worrying; be open minded and enjoy the ride!
^I agree. It seems to me you are at least hetero something, whether it's romantic or sexual or both I don't know. I mean you don't get hard with men, at least do you like the idea of kissing, cuddling, being intimate with a man? Apart from that I'd say relax, you don't have to be constantly searching for every bit of gayness you might have, just see how things turn out, maybe you develop feelings for men, maybe you don't, maybe you are asexual and hetero romantic. Whatever you turn out to be, keep in mind we are here to support you.
Actually, I meant cuddling and kissing or getting intimate with a woman; I personally do not have any interest in any man what so ever.
Yeah, I know, I was trying to find out how you felt emotionally towards men. To me it sounds as if you were hetero romantic. Respectful question. Why are you wondering if you're gay if you don't feel physically or emotionally attracted to men? I mean, perhaps you mind does it, but what possible reason you think could there be for your mind to make those questions?
Well like I said, some time ago (2 months actually) I saw an article on Cracked.com, and it was talking about "Sex Myths that are actually true", they mention how the digit ration theory can (but not exactly 100% always mean it to be true) prove someone's sexuality. I noticed one of my hands had the "gay" fingers which made me start to think, what if I was gay. I was made fun of for a large portion of my life, I was called gay by kids in school, despite me having crushes on some women (it was like every new year I had a different one), but the issue was I never approached them, and then I started thinking, maybe I never did feel that way towards them! I only had the courage to go up to one and talk to her but she rejected me, I always had confidence issues and was always thinking low of myself in some aspects. I figured my feelings went away because I never acted on them and due to a lack of residual emotion in return caused them to slowly yet painfully drift away, I currently have one on this woman I have on the internet, I also recently got over another I did have the balls to approach and talk to (she was on the internet too) but she was not interested and so I figured I have to move on for my mental health. Currently she has not been online for a month or so, and not only am I worried about her, but myself too and if they are true feelings, especially after reading that damn article! I just am so confused right now! :tears:
Look, I personally don't trust studies that try to relate homosexuality to your body, but that's just personal insight, to me it's much more easy to analise ones feelings towards both sexes. Anyway, I know first hand how people mocking you about anything (being gay, fat, stupid, etc.) can affect your opinion about yourself, but trust me, if you look deep inside you may find the answers you seek, maybe not today, not tomorrow, but you will, maybe soon enough. Don't listen to people when they say how gay you are, they know nothing more than you do. On the women thing, it's very common to be shy around women, and it's even more common to hide the "shame" (cause there's nothing to me shameful of) of being shy by thinking you're gay. So trust me, there are tons of people who are going through that. You just gotta be patient and hope that the right woman will come along, and trust me, I'm still waiting just like you (and I have double chances haha, so I'm even more foreveralone :bang. Conclusion: I don't think you're gay, but apart from the many set of opinions all of us can have, there's a path you must follow before being confident about your sexuality, and no one can make the path for you. if you have any more doubts be sure to ask. (*hug*)
Actually, dont look to digit ratio to determine sexual orientation. My index finger is shorter than the ring finger, and i have more attraction to men over women. So dont look to it. If you dont feel any spark to you and guys than don't sweat it, you're overworking yourself, your not gay bro. Just demisexual, maybe you need that emotional spark if you want to get aroused
Thanks, I do need to try to be more confident like I did back in those days, I normally brushed off the bullies words as them trying to insult me and figured they're just jerks and brushed it off and did not question it. I ven support the LGBT because as a so far to believe straight person; I have been bullied and insulted as a homosexual and I so far seem to not have one ounce in me that can lead to such, granted I'm not the most masculine of people but not the most femenine and even that does not seem to be an answer to ones sexuality, the only person I know who would not support me if I was anything but straight would be my brother who is an overall intolerant towards everything kind of person, but I would care less considering I do not get along well with him (Hell, I'm debating on when i move out I'd ever want to seem him again). What I am also so curious about is why I am making as big a deal about this as I did before, I mean I know just how reliable Cracked is, and I too never did question myself until I saw that article, why am I doing it now of all times, one of the past ones I mentioned; someone said it might be a transitional phase that I am going through because I recently graduated high school and wish to independently publish my own comics, and alot is changing and my mind is trying to be open to change since I am now gone from that awful hell called High School.
I have been having weird dreams alot lately, I have been dreaming sometimes about being with a group of men, and sometimes being with a group of women. The men in the dream are fully clothed but the women wear skimpier and more revealing clothing, and we do not talk about anything Sexual related, and I end up waking up with a boner no matter what, can I get some info on that as to why?
Wow dude I don't know you but if you read some of my past posts were exactly alike. The only thing is I'm in my 5th month of this and I came to the realization that I'm probably gay even though I have no idea why. Literally gay porn and fantasising just don't do anything for me and I can't think of just 1 guy who Id like to fool around with not even a movie star crush or something. I even look at the gay stuff and I'm like "wow thats my life now...yay..." There is just nothing special or desiring I feel from it. The other day to I had a girl I've never considered sexually attractive come up to me acted weird and for some reason I was instantly aroused. I'm like you to as I've never had any real confidence in myself and I almost feel that the lack of confidence may be what this is all about, but I don't know anymore. Another problem (idk if you mentioned this) is that I'm not willing to go and try it with men but now women have pretty much fallen off my radar so I don't know...I just want it to stop. The constant questioning, anxiety, and paranoia have since calmed down a little and I can now hear myself think for once in the last few months but I feel alot has changed. I wish ya the best and know your not the only one suffering.
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one suffering, women have not completely fallen off my radar, but I am slowly losing the need to actually go out and find them; I don't know if it is me being cynical because I don't leave the house very often or not, but I am slowly losing interest in a relationship and I find it bad because I still want to be with my internet crush and still want to cuddle with her and be with her, but she has not been online for 2 months and I'm really getting worried, in fact, I think I literally miss her :tears: I don't know why, but I do. I know very little about her, but I know enough for me to be interested in her and want to pursue something more than friends with her. (!) But I have not talked with her in forever, I know we live in two different timezones but that has not stopped her before. :icon_sad: I want to talk with her so badly!
