Completely confused

I think you need to ask yourself what you would rather have; something genuine and honest, or a fantasy? Fantasies are rarely as good as the real deal, and a family based on love and connection is far more worth than a family based on a stereotypical norm, in my opinion. Your child deserves a mother who are happy with the life she is living, who isn`t afraid of going for what will make her a content and fulfilled individual. If you believe being with a woman will make you happier than being with a man, then that is the one thing that matters, whether or not it fits into a stereotype does not. Children are happier with a happy mother, they learn to live healthier with a mother who cares for her own needs as well as theirs, they learn to love better with a mother who loves truly, they learn to make the right choices for themselves with a mother who is honest and truthful and who shows them that one should never be ashamed of going after what will make them happy and content. Your child is a lot better off with a happy mother, who`ll create a family based on joy and love, rather than a mother who sacrifices her own happiness to fit into a society norm. So, whatever choices you make, make sure you do what is right by you, because it`s the only way to do what is right by him. That is what he`ll learn from. If you teach unhappiness and sacrifice, then that is what he will learn.

Trust me, my siblings and I grew up in a home with a mother and a father, and I have wished over and over that my mother had done the right thing by herself and left the bastard a long time before she did. She thought she was holding the family together, but watching her destroy herself did more damage than us growing up without a father ever could. A home should be a safe environment filled with love, respect, empathy and compassion. That`s what is going to affect the child the most. A lack of a father figure may possibly have an effect, it`s debated all the time, but I see children grow into well-adjusted adults fine without both a mother and a father dutifully stationed in the house. I see children grow up a lot less well-adjusted despite the mother and father dutifully stationed in the house, and I see children wishing for loving parents, who couldn`t give a rat`s a** about what gender said parents would have.

And studies show that boys who grow up with two mothers or two fathers often turn into more emphatic and caring men, often a lot more in touch with their feelings and with a more realistic view on the world as well as a unique compassion and tolerance. Studies also show that children in LGBT households often get better grades, have less behavioral issues, are more tolerant and less prone to insecurity and bullying.

My younger brother grew up in a household of 4 women, and no father figure. I must say, he is a catch for any straight girl out there. He knows exactly what to do when a girl is having that week of the month (chocolate, straight up, pillows, etc). He knows how to change a diaper, he has a lot of self-irony due to all the "god, men suck sometimes" comments around the house, he`s understanding and calm, he`s good with conflicts (you gotta be, with 4 women in the house). And as much of a macho man as my biological father was, my brother is completely different. He is strong, without being dominating. He is tough, without being insensitive. He can express himself, without being violent and he gives a damn when he`s said something hurtful. Maybe he didn`t have a male role-model, but damned if that boy hasn`t grown into one wonderful man!

So, don`t sacrifice your happiness to fit an empty norm that offers no guarantee that your son will benefit from it. Find someone who makes you happy and content, and that`s what`s going to make the difference for your child!