Sooo I was exclusively straight (behavior-wise) until I fell for a girl a few months ago. She was straight so nothing ever came out of it, except that I entered a phase of confusion that still lasts til now and I don't know what to do with it. I want to date people of any gender, but I have lately not even been sure that I'm even actually open to it. I've had hookups with both guys and girls that I've really enjoyed in the past. I recently dated a girl for a short while, and we hooked up a couple times. It was fine, and I find her attractive, but it wasn't awesome: there just weren't fireworks on my end. It was incredibly hard for me to break up with her but I had to, and it did not go well. I feel like this is the cautionary tale of the the bicurious straight girl who broke a gay girl's heart because she was sick of guys. But am I? I feel horribly conflicted and I'm scared of dating anyone now because I don't want to date guys but I don't want to hurt girls. I just don't want to hurt anybody. Like, did I not feel fireworks because of her, or because she was a girl? Am I an evil bisexual? I'm just sooo tired of questioning it doesn't even feel worth it anymore. Questioning is bad for everyone involved. I can't tell my parents, because I don't want to come out til I'm sure. I'm isolating myself from friends who don't trust me anymore after hearing me say "guys i'm gay/bi" and then a week later "jk im straight". I don't think I'm making stuff up, but maybe I am? Maybe it's all in my head.
I've questioned myself too, and I've turned out straight (as far as I know). Just go with the flow until you can surely determine whether your gay or not. This is a stressful time to go through, but just try to get it off your mind, or think about it until you've come to a conclusion.
