I think I might have my issues with my sexuality in check now overall; from what I can tell I am either Demi-Sexual or as my current label stands; Hetero-romantic Asexual. But just one more question to hopefully end this or probably send me into a deeper darker abyss of questioning even more. Can denial quite literally make you attracted to one sex and not the other; like if somebody lived his life pretty confident about his sexuality but then learns that sexuality is not as straight forward as he once thought and begins to question the truth of his sexuality because he wants to know if it is the truth or not? I am aware that denial is a strong force and can be a huge thing in terms of sexual orientation; so if anybody could clarify to me (preferably someone who has gone through the stages of denial) that you went through life believing you were straight but only later to become gay because denial is such a hardened force, or am I missing something here?
According to many studies, sexuality is based on genetics. So denying be gay would not 'automatically' make you attracted to woman. It doesn't work like that. Sure, you can fake your sexuality, but denial does not cause sexual attraction to the opposite sex (if your gay) -I got this from my own thoughts, I might be wrong.
Denial cannot really change your sexual orientation. I was in complete denial for much of my teenage years, I really had convinced myself 100% that I was straight and didn't even entertain any idea of potentially being gay. But still, through all that, my eyes would still wander to the cute boys in the room, I had to force myself to pay attention to girls and convince myself they were attractive. But attraction can't really be forced.
But is there ever a state of denial where you do find the opposite or same sex (depends on the person of course) attractive to the point where becomes mind over matter and can cause attraction or arousal? Or am I again, missing the point?
You can convince yourself that you are attracted to the opposite sex in your conscious mind... but no, deep down I don't think you can ever change whom you are naturally inclined to be attracted to.
basically this. I had myself convinced for like six or seven years that what I was feeling for the guys I dated/slept with was attraction. When I was honest with myself, my actual attraction to women put my 'attraction' to men to such shame I was surprised I had been so sure before! I honestly didn't know what actual attraction felt like until I was ready to face the fact that I am super queer.
Denial is pretty amazing. Some people can go through life into their 20s or 30s or sometimes beyond and absolutely believe, in their own minds, that they're straight when there are tons of indicators, and activities, that their sexual attractions point in the opposite direction. BUT... the people in denial are never really happy, and sex for them will never really click. Often what forces them out of denial is being in a situation where they suddenly feel a strong attraction to a guy and it's just something they can't deny. But until that wall of denial is cracked, they can stay safe in the delusion they're straight. But in no way does denial actually make you more attracted to the opposite sex, if that makes sense. If it did, all the closeted homophobic religious bigots would actually be straight instead of closeted bigots.
