Hey everyone, just found this website and I could really use some insight/advice. I'm sure you've heard this 1000 times but please, be patient with me. Preface : I'm a 23 year old male virgin. I know I've always been attracted to women, growing up, I always felt sexually (meaning, I am aroused) by women. It has always been that way.. For example (this is what I do in my head all day to try and figure things out lol) I was walking in the park the other day and these two girls were up ahead in these short shorts, bent over, stretching, and I instantly got an erection (I had to sit down). And then again, as I was walking around, another girl, with a real nice ass, was walking ahead of me, same thing happened and I had to take a break. It felt great, because I have been sort of confused for the past year about things, because occasionally, I'd have a "gay" thought, and I would get aroused. So anyways, I've always been attracted to women, but now, I'm getting thoughts/fantasies about men that I'm not ignoring, but just letting go through me and it does turn me on. I don't know if it's because I'm "turning gay" or whatever, I just can't seem to figure it out. I'll go through these periods where I'm really craving some female intimacy, and I still do, but then I'll have thoughts about naked men and feel turned on as well. I've heard that Bisexuality in men is very rare, so I'm trying to understand what the hell is going on. I can't think of one time in my life where I thought about men like it's happening now. I've always fantasized/romanticized about women, and I've always wanted to (and was at one point) be in love with a woman. I don't know if it's the fact that I'm a virgin that's making my mind go in ten different directions at once but I'm really confused. So if anyone could decipher what's going on, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks
Hey! I am so glad you're here! Pretty awesome how there is support for people questioning these things! Keep in mind that, in terms of psychological research, sexual orientation is a SPECTRUM, not always the strict "gay" "staight" "bisexual" labels we as humans find more easy to associate people by. I think we're in the same boat. I feel attraction (at least on some level) to both sexes. For practical purposes I would say bisexual, meaning dual attraction, but who really needs a strict label? Hope this helps! -Hannah
I'm questioning my orientation too. For a long time I thought I was straight even though in hindsight I was always attracted to women. Then I thought I was a total lesbian. But recently I find some men attractive and think about being with them. So, I'm not totally sure what all this means, but I think it means that as long as you are open to it - for some people sexual orientation is rather fluid. Have you thought about trying to date men to see how you feel about being with a man?
