I am a gay guy who likes a girl. I am now 21 years old, and a University student (I'm from the UK). I realised I was gay during the second year of college. During the first year, there was this girl in my class, lets call her A, as soon as I saw her I liked her, as the first year when on, my feelings for her got heavier and heavier, whenever I saw her or she was mentioned my heart would skip a beat, although I never actually grew the balls to speak to her, I still really liked her. During the second year of college, I realised I was gay and attracted to men instead of women, however, I still had these strong feelings for her and I don't know why, but once again, I didn't tell her. After I finished college, I thought I'd never see her again and that I'd somehow get over her, I was wrong, we go to the same University, doing the same course, and the feelings didn't go away, however I only started speaking to her in the second year, and we've now become friends, the second year is now finished and we're still in contact. However, she told me she is taking a year out of University to do an internship with a company, which means I will finish University a year before her. I've really been contemplating telling her how I feel, because I would happily go out with her, but I'm scared she'll freak out about a gay guy liking her, or just turn me down and our friendship will be awkward, I really don't know what to do, I don't wanna lose her as a friend, I think I may be in love with her, what should I do?
You know, one thing I realized on this site is the the fact that most people who question themselves like this never stopped to think that they never stopped and think that maybe they are emotionally attracted to women but are sexually attracted to men; it seems very likely in your case from what you are saying, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise; I am Asexual but I want a romantic relationship, I wanna get close to one and cuddle with one, hug one and kiss one till I cannot stop. But sex does not appeal to me that much and I never felt that it was that important nor should it be; as for you, I think it is something to consider, if not; maybe you are Bi and just have a higher interest in romantic relationships with women and just want sex from fellow men. I cannot choose your sexuality nor can I decide what you should do; but given the circumstances of what you had just said and what you feel, it may be these cases you have, but either way, I hope you can find this all out and get back on track without worry.
If it is really bugging to the point you can't get it off your mind, then maybe it''s time to tell her the truth. The challenge is predicting her reaction and risking a friendship. It's good to start off subtle first. Maybe flirt a little bit. Give some subtle signs you may have interest in her. See how she reciprocates. Lastly, people define sexual orientation differently. I have a rather narrow view in which I view sexual attraction as solely the only determination of one's sexual orientation. However, that's not to say your strong emotional attraction to a girl can't eventually turn sexual. It's a tough area to really pinpoint in terms of "labels." For me, I am only sexually attracted to guys. But it is possible to feel emotional attraction to girls and theoretically I could possibly feel physical/sexual attraction as time goes on. It's just not worth it. Too much time and the possibility of not developing any physical attraction at all.
