I really don't know if I am a lesbian, straight or bi. I don't have much experience with guys and none with girls :lol:. I have shifted (kissed) a guy before but it was literally the most disgusting thing ever!(I was 15 at the time) I went out with a guy, perfect for me, twice and liked him but when he tried to kiss me I ran for the hills! I have found that this happens quite a lot that I like a guy (possibly have a crush on) but the second he shows any interest in me I never want to see him again! My best guy friend who I have known for literally forever asked me to meet up and shift him and I avoided talking to him for a full year until he messaged me one day and I found out he had a girlfriend, which made me relieved, I am sad to say, because he was the boy of my dreams when we were younger. I do get nervous around guys but I have always assumed that's just girl awkwardness. I have had, what I assume now is, a crush on a female friend of mine, and I have found myself getting jealous when she got close to other girls (even our mutual friends). I was on a training week a week or two back and one of the leaders was absolutely gorgeous! Stunning looking and I found myself going to every excuse to look at her but was nervous whenever she talked to our group, and one of the days she sat (with one of the other leaders) at my table with 2 other friends, and my appetite left me, and the dinner looked gorgeous, and I actually didn't eat anything! I felt very jealous whenever the guys were talking to her and it annoyed me (stupid cause she was WAY out of their league! And mine probably :icon_sad:!) that they were even looking at her! I am still crushing on my friend and found myself looking at girls more and more but I still fantasize about guys and girls, although it seems to be more girls, and I don't really want a relationship with a guy but I would love a girlfriend! I told my mam that I think I might be gay and she told me it is just a phase, that a few of my cousins once thought they were because they were not attracted to guys they didn't know and they all turned out straight. I seem to go through these kind of "phases" I suppose, where I imagine myself in a relationship with a guy (made up, idealistic guy, never a real one) but it passes and I imagine myself in a relationship with a girl again! There was once I had a dream that the guy I've known for ages (mentioned above) kissed me but in my dream it was horrible! Also the longer I go without having a "guy experience" the more attractive it seems! I really don't know what to do! Am I a lesbian or not? HELP!
I now identify as gay, but there was a time I went through an experience like yours. Here's what my "symptoms" were: I thought women were hot in some ways but the idea of having sex with them grossed me out, and I thought men were hot too but the idea of having sex with them didn't gross me out. That SOUNDS to me like what you're going through, if it's not, please reply. But if I just described your feelings, then you're probably lesbian.
