I grew up in a very strict Christian cult, and homosexuality wasn't even mentioned. I didn't know what it was, but all I knew was that I constantly fantasized about other women, and was never attracted to guys. I tried to shut that part of me down and to be attracted to guys, but I just wasn't. Also, due to my background, I have never been on a date. Now I'm in college, living on campus and hanging out with friends--and I still find myself attracted to only girls. I don't want to be gay/lesbian, but I don't know what to do about my attraction. Some people tell me that I need to go on dates with guys in order to get experience, but I'm just not interested at all. In y'all's experience, how did you sort through sexual orientation confusion?
I had to go by my feelings towards women and where my heart was leading me. I grew up around homophobes so I never even considered I could be gay. I married a man, had kids, and one day all of the evidence of my attraction to women finally piled up enough that I could not deny it any longer. If you have no attraction to me, you very well could be a lesbian. Only you can be the one to figure it out. It does sound like you need to feel better about your attractions. You mentioned not wanting to be gay. It is scary. I felt the same way when I realized I am attracted to women, but I got used to the idea. I gave me time to adjust. EC helps too.
I do need to feel better about it. I guess I just have to keep asking questions and waiting. I liked what you said about "giving me time to adjust." It makes sense to me. I don't want to be in an environment where I am pressured to make a decision, I just need time to sort it out and people to talk to.
