Can I be certain?

Oh, I'm sure you wouldn't need a psychiatrist anyway. Many people have these thoughts when they first began to come to terms with their sexuality. There is no reason to feel ashamed. Shame is often the source of doubt to begin with.

First, do you feel attracted to women?

This is important because, even if we ask the questions of "Is this a phrase" or "Is this just admiration of men", those things shouldn't interfere with other attractions you would have. In order to be heterosexual, you have to have heterosexual attractions.

The second thing to consider is could your doubt be a result of fear of what being homosexual might mean for you? Are you afraid of what other people might think? Do you feel that you might be missing out on something you doubt you would have as a gay male?

 

I know that losing weight is necessarily the easiest thing, but you could try and if you still find yourself looking at and admiring other mens bodies you might come a little closer to relising your true sexual orientation.

 

Admiration of mens' body could mean that you're aesthetically attracted to them, but not necessarily have the sexual attraction. It could also mean that you may be a homosexual.

Emotional interest into men could mean that you're sexually attracted to them or you're emotionally interested to be with them, but not sexually attracted. One of the misconception of society and the LGBTQ itself generally have is that romantic orientation and sexual orientation are never very conflicting.

First, I'd look to see and separate different kinds of emotions to see what suits you best. Then, I'd look to question my state to see if my conclusion is valid.

That is if I were you.

Also, sexuality can be fluid although fluid sexual orientation is rare where slight changes in sexuality is more common. So, if you're sure of your past orientation and your current orientation is very different, then there's a sign that you are experiencing fluid sexuality.

So, figure it out, I have provided as much info I can.

 

I dunno.. I'm new to all this.. so take it with a grain of salt. But similar situation.

I found all of a sudden when I started considering men instead of women, I got alot more motivated to lose weight/look after myself/etc. Which to me is a sign that I really like men. I still used to feel self image issues with attractive women but... it was 'different' somehow.. like I didnt like the way I looked, but I wasn't driven to change it either. That drive that I've always lacked in my life when everyone else has it... turns out maybe it was just cos I wasn't chasing something i really wanted.

Also, are you attracted to women still? To what level? Have you considered bisexuality?

 

No, you can be certain, but you still have a ways to go before you get there. It involves quite a bit of honesty and confidence in yourself to accept the fact that you might not be heterosexual, and everyone moves at their own pace.

I came to EC four months ago questioning, and am leaving still questioning. I've done a bit of research, self-acceptance, and more questioning, so if and when the time I do decide to come out down the road, I'll be ready, having already become comfortable with the possibility. No one goes straight from questioning to gay (or anything else) in one thread.

It's okay to be uncertain, to have doubts, but don't feel pressured to rush through the process or to try to adopt an identity when you aren't sure. And remember, it's only one part of you... I don't think it's necessary to have a relationship with both to find out, but if it's something you want to experience for any other reason than to start unquestioning, it probably won't be that simple.

Don't let others pressure you or influence your decisions. Your sexual experience has nothing to do with orientation; there are gay men who have had more success in that arena that some straight men! In fact, I'd say not to focus so much on labels, sex, or relationships at this point, just stay open to possibilities.