I'm 19 and I think I'm gay. I am attracted to men especially guys in the western part. I may find a few girls pretty but when I think of having sex with them I may not be able to do so. This is what makes me think that I'm gay. I can't and wouldn't tell anybody especially my family that I'm gay because definitely I can't accept them knowing this and also they can't accept this fact. This traps inside my chest for years and I feel so miserable. I feel like dying most of the time. I am wondering why can't I be straight, marry with a pretty girl and have my own family? I never dated anyone in my life. If I date with a guy in the future, I definitely couldn't accept that other people know this. If I don't date anyone, I would feel that life is nothing because love is something very important to me. I found this forum yesterday and I want to release out my feelings here.
Well, I think people would like to help, but nobody knows what you want to hear if you don't ask any questions. What is it you want help on? Help with "being gay" is a pretty broad subject range, you know For what it's worth, you sound like you're gay. And really, that's not a big deal. From what you're typing, you don't sound convinced that being gay is no big deal though. What makes you feel you couldn't accept dating a guy?
I know exactly how you feel and exactly what you mean by help with being gay... it's really hard and it's really scary and you need somebody to talk to and you feel like if you tell anybody they won't like you anymore. I felt like that and it was horrible... every single day my dad tells me what a disappointment I am and he literally makes fun of the things i wear, the things I do, and the way i act... i haven't even come out yet... I had a nightmare where my dad killed me and my friends didn't even care and they all had girlfriends and boyfriends and they called me a gay freak. but the truth is that i told some of my friends and they've been really supportive and they've gotten me through it. Try to find a close friend who's a girl and talk to them about it... girls can be a lot more accepting than guys plus you can talk to them without being worried about them judging you... for the first couple of weeks every time i saw a cute guy, or felt sad, or wanted to die, i would talk to them about it and they've made me feel so happy... now I'm openly gay to all my friends and i'm best friends with those girls... plus just because you're gay doesn't mean you have to be feminine gay like me! Almost every single gay guy I know is so masculine they're practically indistinguishable from straight guys except for the fact that they like guys... and they make it really hard to find somebody to date -.- ... Also do yourself and girls a favor and don't pretend you're straight you'll just be lying to yourself and hurting a girl that's probably wonderful but that you'll never really be attracted to... just find somebody to vent to and if you really don't have anybody to talk to then if you want you can even send me a message via this website... trust me... after you've had someone to express your feelings to you can accept yourself and you will feel LOADS better! I really hope I helped:icon_bigg:icon_bigg Sorry this came so late.
