I'll make this as short as possible. I'm 28 years old, married and have two kids (7 years old and 1 year old). My wife and I have been together almost eight years, we were kind of "forced" together after she became pregnant...bad judgement on my part but I wouldn't trade for my kids. Lately, last two years or so, our marriage has been VERY rocky. I have no doubt that if it wasn't for the kids we wouldn't be together anymore. I think the major change in our relationship was caused by my best friend, who is also a guy and is 21 years old. We've known each other four or five years but we've become extremely close within the last couple of years. He's had relationship issues and I guided him through it and he does the same from me. There is a...I guess, flirtiness, between us and my wife sees it and makes comments about it which leads me to believe I'm not reading too much into it or wanting more to be there than actually is. I would do anything for him and have been dropping subtle hits about me questioning myself. A couple of weeks ago he asked if I was trying to tell him that I'm into guys and that if I am he's cool with it but he's already taken. I playfully avoided answering and we moved on. I'm just so confused...I really want to "experiment" but know what's at risk. I'm torn and it's driving my head and heart insane. My heart feels he also wants to experiment but I fear the damage it could cause. I guess I really needed to just get it off my chest. I'll answer any questions and listen to any advice/feedback.
Welcome to EC! Sorry for the late reply, please don`t be discouraged. It does sound to me that your relationship really is in a way over already. If you are thinking about finding someone else, experimenting sexually, being sexually "focused" on another person, then the alarm bells have been ringing for a while. I think the most fair thing you can do, is be honest with your wife about how you feel. If you hold it in and stay in a relationship that is obviously not making you happy, all you`ll end up with is bitterness and regret. That said, you do have a small child with your wife. I would never recommend people sticking together for the kids, because kids thrive in a happy environment, not a toxic one, regardless of whether the first means one parent doesn`t live at home with them. Two people unhappy together makes an unhappy home, that`s just my opinion and experience. But your child being that young, your wife will depend on your help and support, it`s not easy being a single mother with a baby in the house. However, regardless of what you choose to do, I think personally that the best is to be honest and upfront with her, it will hurt less than if you would get to the point where you need it so badly you end up cheating on her. Cheating is always the wrong choice, honesty is almost always the better choice, in my opinion.
