I'm spinning in circles trying to figure out who I am, and whom I am interested in. To start out - for the past 2-3 years the question of if I was gay or not has always crossed my mind. Sometimes I have leaned more toward gay, other times straight. (Ive only ever been with women, and recently lost my virginity.. god vaginas are gross). Recently one of my friends came out and ever since I knew of even the possibility that he was gay he has become more and more attractive to me. While I know I am interested in him, and after talking with him - that he is interested in me, I still have no clue what I should do. In my mind I find both men and women physically attractive, but recently I have found the concept of being with another man both emotionally and physically attractive, and not the same with a woman. While that makes it seem as though it should be straight forward, I still am, at least physically, attracted to women as well. My friend that I am very interested in said that he would like to go on a date with me, but that he would rather wait for a while to make sure I knew what I was getting into. While I know that that is a reasonable request, I don't want to risk loosing him during that time. :L I know that right now I really want to be with him, but I don't want to end up changing my mind and hurting him in the process. I'm worried that the thought of him being taken is making me more interested in him then I would be otherwise? I'm just feeling so mixed up and I don't know which feelings will stay true. I think I'm gay, or bi if nothing else, but...meh! I know that I can see myself being in a relationship with a man (and being exceptionally happy with him) and I can't say that about any women right now, but could that be me just being desperate, or hurt over a past relationship? I suppose to leave this at a solid question; 1. Knowing that my friend is interested in me, and I him, should I wait like he suggested? Or should I try to go on that date with him? 2. Based on that above do you think that I could be gay, not just seeking anyone to be with? I am perfectly okay with myself either way, but I don't want to hurt anyone in the process of figuring myself out :L. Any outside perspective is gladly welcomed, without listening to other peoples advice I will sit here thinking in circles for the rest of the night. :bang: Thanks -- Meeps -- "Everybody wants to love, Everybody wants to be loved"
I know the feeling of not wanting to hurt your friend in the process, I've been through this exact process and I think I've hurt both of them by doing this. But one is in a relationship now I think (God, looking back, he was such a creeper he had such a rapist voice and whatnot. I made a good choice when I...actually I don't know what happened...just glad he's out of my life) and the other (who said he would be willing to help me figure this out) sounds exactly like your friend...well kind of. To my mind: 1. Does he know what is going on with you? If not, I would let him know. Because honestly? it sounds like you know what you would be getting yourself into. If you let him know early on, chances are, he'll take it slow with you. Whereas if you let him know too late, you'll hurt him if you aren't gay (but it sounds like it's a strong possibility). If you don't see any red tape, I would take the leap. 2. Based on the above, I would say you could be gay. To be quite honest I say gay because I read "vaginas are gross" and I was like yeah he's gay.
I would take Ilikecats advice. As long as you tell your friend about the situation before you start dating him, then he'll know and take things slow. It sounds to me that you are leaning more towards gay and as long as he knows all this, he can't really be mad or upset with you if you find out that you're not gay. There is only one way to truly find out and that is to date him.
I kinda get what you are experiencing.. It's mainly fear of the future for me though, than actually being into girls at the moment. I imagine an attractive guy and what I consider to be an attractive girl in front of me, I only have the drive to choose the guy. I dont think everyone is born a certain way. Or more likely, some people are born bi, and their attraction towards each sex varies throughout life. Given this, I think it would be silly to try to lock yourself to one or the other. I know there are benefits in society for doing this, but really.. People should be alot more accepting of dynamic feelings/attractions.
