Hey everyone! So basically I have been lurking on this site for a while, but today I finally just decided to register and get some answers to some of my questions. Just so everyone knows, I’m a fifteen year old girl So after a torturous couple of years trying to figure out who I was, I’ve finally decided that I’m bisexual. My family and friends are completely fine and supportive of this as I knew they would be. I’ve grown up around my parent’s gay and lesbian friends, so luckily I always knew my family would support me and that’s not my problem. So my real question is, do you think I sound bisexual? Ever since first grade I have always had crushes on guys. And not just small crushes, big ones. I wanted to date them, kiss them, and just hang out with them in general. I would always get a warm fuzzy feeling when we talked and I just felt happy. I also had crushes on actors from movies and stuff. However, when I started questioning my sexuality in 7th grade, those feeling started going away. It was more difficult for me to get a crush on a guy, or fantasize about a guy without getting stressed out and feeling like it was some sort of test. But now, a couple of years later I have thankfully gotten over that and am just letting my feelings come and go. I still am attracted to guys and I want to experience having a boyfriend at some point. But when it comes to girls, this is where things get confusing for me. I had never thought I would be attracted to girls. The idea of it always just grossed me out and make me feel uncomfortable, and I still felt like that when I was questioning my sexuality. Now things are changing. In the past six months or so, the idea of being with another girl doesn’t gross me out anymore and it actually sounds kind of nice. But the issue is: I am not attracted to any girls that I actually know in real life. All of my best friends are like my sisters to me and I have no desire to be in a relationship with any of them. Same with all my girl acquaintances; they are nice girls but I don’t want to date them. The idea of it is icky and uncomfortable. However, I am attracted to female celebrities MUCH MORE than male celebrities. I can see myself being in a relationship with female celebrities and the idea of it sounds nice. But, I have no desire to go on a date with a girl that I actually know. So does this make me bisexual? Or am I just straight and the female celebrities thing is just some kind of normal girl crush?
What made you start questioning in the first place? It might be helpful to start from that. For a bisexual, not having crushes on friends I think is normal; but thinking that being with girls is icky might indicate that you aren't really bi. When I first started questioning I thought being with girls might be icky, but then I thought back to before I dated a guy and realized I used to think being with a guy was icky too. So for me it wasn't a great indicator. Anyways it sounds like you are open to the experience of being with girls but not necessarily romantically. Maybe you just haven't found a girl you actually want to date. Either way, just be open to opportunities as they come and don't force yourself to define yourself prematurely.
Thanks for the reply! I started questioning my sexuality because I realized I had a tendency to get crushes on female celebrities. It's kind of weird, because the idea of being with a girl that I actually know in real life is uncomfortable for me, but the idea of being with a female celebrity isn't.
It might just be you haven't found the right girl yet. While I do have a small crush on a friend, I have met her reasonably recently, after I figured my sexuality out. I think, because the others I have been friends with for years, back when I was questioning, I don't think of them in that way. Essentially, they're 'friendzone'd' for me because for years I knew them when I thought I was straight, and I now know them too well to consider even fancying them. I definitely have a lot of crushes on female celebrities, and I think that's completely normal for everyone. By the sounds of it, you are still rather confused. And that's completely fine. I hated it, but I eventually understood that your understanding of your sexuality is definitely not going to suddenly develop overnight. If anything, me developing as a person helped me figure it out more, and that takes time. I would suggest not over thinking it. Just accept what you're feeling and see what happens. This advice might be really annoying, but honestly, you just have to figure it out overtime. It might be that you're just attracted to girls sexually rather than romantically. But just try and accept yourself, because I know how rocky the 'Questioning road' can be...
Hmm what you're saying about the friends thing definitely makes sense, because I have known these girls pretty much my whole life. The issue with the sexually and romantically thing is that it is actually kind of the opposite for me. I am still somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of being with a girl sexually, and on some days it doesn't sound appealing at all. However, being with a girl in a romantic/emotional way sounds completely nice. The other thing with friends is that I have recently made some new friends, however, I am not attracted to them either. One of them is actually bisexual and she's super nice and we have a lot in common, but I don't think I would be interested in dating her. I do have a therapist for anxiety and she does help me not over-think things, so I agree completely with what you are saying. And yes, the questioning road does suck! :dry:
Hmm you are only fifteen. Plus being bisexual doesn't mean you like both men and women equally. Your starting to figure out things about yourself. What you like, what you don't and many other things. Sooner or later you'll find out what it is you really want out of life, and this might give you an indicator of where you stand with your sexuality. Hahaha I concur with your feelings of your friends being more like sisters Then again, just because I'm gay doesn't mean I like or find ALL men attractive. Anyways... =$ Welcome to EmptyClosets :welcome: I'm sure you'll meet others like you, who can help you along the way. Have you ever had times where you'd hang with your friends and talk about guys? How you would describe the guy of your dreams? Well you can talk about that with other members, and find out what you generally prefer in women. Take care :smilewave
