Dating...while trans

:icon_sad:

 

Making the move forward is hard unfortunately. But there are girls out there who will make it.

And our LGBT friendly pub/bar are being boycotted at the moment, since they're hiring a racist and homophobic act. Means it's all in the uni society or online for me. :L

 

I think I'm gonna hire a matchmaker at this point. :dry: A big part of my "problem" is that I'm not "fun" and never have been. :rolle:

 

Doesn't sound crazy to me I'd prefer just hanging out in coffee shops and one-to-one chatting. But I need to meet someone to do that with first xD I know online dating is probs the way to go, but I dunno if I should disclose I am trans or not ... :/

 

Just getting to know people is amazing. Even sometimes you never meet them but you've made this connection across huge amounts if space and that's incredible.

 

Yep.
And you probably should disclose it, to avoid awkward situations when you tell the person.

 

^That. But there's a time and a place for all conversations. That one would probably be left best over a glass of wine (or bottle of beer) and just getting to know each other

---------- Post added 20th Apr 2014 at 11:09 PM ----------

Also, I just had an experience with the aforementioned "chasers."

I made a new profile and the very first sentence I came out to the online dating world as trans. Yay go me! (!!)

1st message was from a screen name like Gaiboi1 or something to that effect who said I was cute and then deleted his profile. I must have that effect on people...

2nd message was from a guy who in his profile basically said that he was looking for girls to have one night stands. He messaged me and told me that he thought it was awesome that I had the confidence to be who I really and truly am. So yay? He lost a point and gained a point I guess. :Shrug:

3rd message, had potential. Guy with daughter, but...(I should have taken this as a warning) under things he couldn't live without he didn't put his daughter for the reason that he lived a good portion of his life without her in his life so he doesn't need her to live necessarily. Like I said though, the messages had potential and then all of a sudden turned to sex. I ignored it. He messaged me again and lo and behold after the customary "hey" greeting, he turned it back to sex. He wasn't making me feel very lady like. I messaged him back finally and told him I'm not the one night stand kind of girl and I wasn't just looking for a one night stand. I was looking for a relationship based on more than sex. He hasn't responded.

4th guy is a kind hearted soul. Not really my cup of tea but fun to talk to. Very chivalrous.

All in all we're not off to a very good start, but since I'm still trying to figure out what I'm after I'm not in any rush

Figured I'd share the experience though. After talking to the 3rd guy I felt kinda dirty, he treated me wrong. *Shivers* I'm blocking him though so that's that.

 

Wow, getting a lot of attention girl! You'll have no trouble finding someone from the sounds of it!

 

I'm finding at the moment that a big problem is that all the sites make me choose if I'm looking for men or women...

I was going to sign up to some more just to see if it helped being more 'out there' and they all asked me to pick so now I'm stuck on the one I'm on because I can't choose!

I never thought being pansexual would caused me as many problems as being trans does in terms of dating...

 

I've found some sites that let you pick both, but yh, that is annoying. :/

 

So far I've managed to find 2...

Plus I'm now conducting an experiment. I wanted to see if the guy I've been speaking to is actually interested in me as a person or just using me as someone to talk to. His last message really didn't give me a lot to respond with so I'm now waiting to see if he'll start the conversation up again. I don't think he will D:

 

You're doing better than me ... Nobody's said anything to me yet xD

 

Everyone seems to be giving this a go! :L

Am I the only person who wants to stay single for the time being? :S

 

I deleted my dating profiles. Right now (when finishing my thesis/ moving/ coming out completely) isn't the time. What happens, happens but I'm not actively seeking a girlfriend at the moment. I'd rather have people to have fun with and I take dating too seriously for most women around my age anyway. So, you're not alone.

 

Yeah! It's probably different when you're out to everyone!
Plus, money is needed for a relationship and I'd rather pour any money I do have into my drum kit. :3

Gotta learn to love myself before I can love anyone else.
(To paraphrase Ru Paul.)

 

Ugh... yeah... money... that thing they don't really pay graduate students much of...

I dunno if anything will change by being out; even when I start looking, I'm generally not good at holding women's attention. Oh well! Fate will be what it must! :icon_wink

Maybe I'll get a puppy instead!! Hahaha!!

 

Why would you think that you can't hold women's attention?

And kitties > puppies!

And true, but grad students at least get payed some!

 

This^!

Only in my case, it's a matter of figuring out who I actually am before I ask anybody else to love that person.

 

I already have two kitties so I agree but not sure if I want a third...

And I dunno... I'm not "fun" and have too protective a personality type. I'm the guy women like to keep around to spoil them until they find a "real man," etc. I've had a few girls like me but they're never at all my type and it was mostly just a physical attraction, I think. I'm OK looking but meh... I'm not good with women and usually make them feel awkward at some point. And then too serious and argh. That's just who I am. I guess you could say that I know how to treat a woman like a lady but don't know how to just do whatever it is people do... Oh well, I do have my kitties so, I'm not really alone!

 

I have no issues with staying single to be quite honest. I mean I did JUST come out to myself as a girl 2 weeks ago and am enjoying the experience. I've finally made it to a point in my life where I'm happy with myself and getting happier the more I find myself out. My therapist even started calling me Sofia and it was just a marvelous feeling.