A crush on a guy i think is gay

So let me explain. now that ive realized I'm not straight i see things that i used to do, like commenting on my so called heterosexuality looking at boys until they looked at me. lingering touches and always making gay jokes in an attempt to make myself look straight. yeah i was pretty much the worlds biggest closet case until i met my new bisexual bff chloe and her ragtag band of variations of nonheterosexual friends . i came out to chloe as confused and so on and so forth but back to the guy i like.

The guy i like i does a lot of the same stuff that i did, but is a best friend of 8 years. i haven't come out to him but really want to. I've noticed it even more so in recent times. hell use gay slang (i.e. calling a chubby hairy gay guy a bear) over express his heterosexuality (ex. pulling up a porn sight and watching) looking at me when he thinks I'm not looking and then looking away when i do look. lasting touches. PLUS THE FACT HE'S NEVER EVEN HAD A GIRLFRIEND OR EVEN KISSED A GIRL! So i was already skeptical but this past weekend that all changed. We talked about our positions on gay marriage ( well more like i explained why it was completely stupid its not allowed everywhere) and him being quiet on the subject. Then we went swimming at nine o clock at night and he eventually said he wanted to try skinny dipping. which i agreed to immediately (the dirty boy i am lol) so we then both removed our shorts and swam around naked. we eventually began to ponder why humans wear clothes (i know this sounds like a bad fan fiction but its not i swear) i also compliment him saying he's sexy and he say I'm sexy too! But he then says No Homo AKA biggest bull faced lie ever! But i say no homo as well (still not out) but. then we have to go inside cuz its eleven thirty at night. so we do then we go on the random chat site ****** which is famous for the amount of male genitalia shown by some of its users. While i freak out (still acting) he just laughs and makes comments on them. The next night it was raining so we couldn't go in the pool but i managed to persuade him to sneak out at midnight and as soon as we were in off came the pants. we then had a conversation about what we want to do in the future. We then sneak back in and we talk until we fall asleep. the next day i leave but he asks me if i still want to go to friendlys for ice cream something we had talked about almost 2 months ago . so now I'm really confused by him. like is it a date or a friend zone thing, is he gay or straight or hell even bi, why. do i just want to him. Should i make a move and come out or should i wait a while?

 

I'm throwing a party this weekend and he says he wants to sleep over. should i let him and should i make a move? I realy need help here guys!

 

Unfortunately i have three weeks until i go back to my moms house. I'm extremely scared to come out to come out to him because he acts extremely homophobic. ill try subtly flirting with him though.

 

He's not homophobic in the true definition of the word. he isn't afraid of gay people, however he uses words such as queer and fag in a nervous way as if he's trying to hide behind hatefulness that is actually just him fearing/hating who he is or who he thinks he has to be. unfortunately i did the same thing when i was still coming to terms with myself. so i dont think of it as homophobia. i think of it as his attempt to hide himself

 

I'm going to have him sleep over and ill be doing the light flirting and touching among other things ive learned. ill keep this updated

 

I'm thinking of coming out to him tommorow night. Should I?

 

Well i failed and didn't fail in a sort. I didn't come out to him. but i did flirt with him. and he reciprocated it. id say stuff about how amazing he was and how great of a cook he is and he'd say thanks and you are pretty good yourself. plus id linger with my touches or lean over him while he's laying down to get something and he didn't care.plus even though i blew up an air matress for him he slept on my bed with me like right next to me. and in the middle of the night he got cold and came under the blanket and he kept rolling over and practically spooning me.plus we talked about how awesome skinny dipping was and about our penises (his isn't circumsized mine is) plus id like lay down and have my head on his shoulder or his arm and one time he put hi arm around my neck.it felt amazing even though he kept calling things gay or looking at "hot" girls on instagram. he eventually began to talk to me about politics and i explained my stance on gay marriage and he completely agreed with me. which rocked. then he found a pic on instagram saying gay rights are human rights and he showed it to me and liked it. then he gave me a hug on the way out. not a crappy one hand hug with a pat on the back. a lingering full body hug with no pats on the back. plus he wore really tight clothes and his chest kept showing cuz his shirt would go up when he was laying down and his shorts really emphasised his butt. I'm thinking next time I'm going to say screw it and come out to him.

 

As I'm texting him right now whilst subtly flirting and him not noticing or not saying anything i realize he is obe of the few people i truely care about and can't make me feel crappy. but I'm just so scared. how should i do it. like should i just bring it up randomly or should i be all serious about it. I've only come out to one person before and i almost had a panic attack. how should i come out. face to face, skype, texting, a phone call. i just don't know now

 

In what manner though, that is the 50 million dollar question

 

I wasn't planning on saying i like him as soon as i came out to him. plus i just came out to my best friends since i was 2 years old. and they were so accepting and caring i almost cried. i don't want to withhold the facts from him any longer. i care about him and myself too much to do it anymore. but i will keep up the flirting and. act as normal as possible. around him. hopefully hell realize that i like him and either reciprocate these feelings or turn me down.

 

I'm just going to go ahead and say it you buthitlerisdead are one of the most useful people in my life and id like to thank you for all the help you've posted in the last few days. i think I'm just going to go for it and say there's something i need to tell you. like you suggested. i won't see him till friday but then ill tell him and until then ill keep u guys posted about what we text or chat about.