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I want to come out to my friend

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by stocking, Jul 28, 2014.

  1. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    I worked with her for year and she thinks I'm straight and keeps asking me about guys.:confused:
     
  2. tulipinacup

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    How is she when it comes to LGBT issues?
     
  3. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    I don't know , how should I bring it up with her?
     
  4. Ony

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    I have only came out to one friend so I am absolutely no expert. One thing I did notice is that as long as you do this in a location that allows for some distraction and is not a work-environment, you will be fine. If you want to come out to her she probably is someone you think will be accepting. If you say "I want to go to coffee so we can talk about something" when you get there where her mind might be at this point your coming out probably won't be a huge deal to her as long as you tell her you want to be friends but can't continue to get to know each other without this being known. With any luck your friendship will be stronger as a result.

    Good Luck!
     
  5. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    She said , she's gonna get me a boyfriend because I don't have a guy >.<
     
    #5 stocking, Jul 28, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2014
  6. tulipinacup

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    I can only talk about my experience but it honestly took a year for me to come out to my cousin. Since she lives in the U.S. I take it that she was more open about it and I knew she's the first person I can talk about because she mentions she has gay friends and stuff. We watched Aziz Ansari's comedy stand-up and gay marriage was brought up so I took the chance to ask what does she think about Marriage Equality and answered with what not and that was my queue.

    So I guess my suggestion is to do the same thing? If she ask again about guys, you might want to say "Hmm idk but what do you think about (girl's name from your work)? doesn't she look cute?"
     
  7. stocking

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    I'll try but maybe I'll name a celebrity?:confused:
     
  8. Mirko

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    Hi there! Has your friend ever mentioned anything that would lead you to believe that she might be accepting/supportive? In getting to know your friend, do you feel that you know enough about her that would allow you to say that your friend is someone you want to come out to?
     
  9. tulipinacup

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    Yeah that could work too:slight_smile:
     
  10. stocking

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    She hasn't ever said anything about lgbt people, I don't know much about her yet.

    ---------- Post added 28th Jul 2014 at 07:26 PM ----------

    Thanks so much:slight_smile:
     
  11. Mirko

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    Just a thought, but given that you don't know much about her yet, why not speak with her a bit more, and try to get a better sense of her general view on things. Naming a celebrity might be a good start. Knowing what she might say, or feeling that she could be supportive, could also help you to feel more comfortable with coming out to her. :slight_smile:
     
  12. stocking

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    Like a Gay celebrity ?
    what really makes me want to come out to her is the fact that she keeps asking me if I have a boyfriend and then saying she wants to help me get one but I don't want one but at first I wanted to come out to her so she would know the real me since we're friends .
     
  13. Mirko

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    Hi there! Sure. But it sounds like that you do trust her. Wanting to come out to her, is a good indication that somewhere within you, you feel that she would be accepting/supportive. If you say to yourself out loud: I am ready to come out to [name of friend]. How do you feel?
     
  14. stocking

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    I still feel weird about it because I don't know how she will react .
     
  15. spockbach

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    My method has been to bluntly reply to statements like "I need to find you a boyfriend" with "I'm into girls" or "I'm gay". But if you're worried about what she might say, or how she might feel, I would definitely mention something about gay rights or homosexuality in general first. Just to name an example, I'll sometimes say something like, "Oh, I went to that cafe/church/college campus once. It was great; I really appreciated how open-minded they were when it came to things like gay rights."
     
  16. Quem

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    Is your friend straight? She might be asking these questions, because she wants to see how you react, if she is not straight herself. :slight_smile:
     
  17. stocking

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    She's straight , she has a boyfriend and everything also has a huge crush on the guy at work
     
  18. Mirko

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    Hi there! If this is how you feel, you could always give it a bit more time. There is no rush in coming out. When she asks you about guys, you could try saying that you are happy with the way things are at the moment, and move on to another topic. :slight_smile:
     
  19. stocking

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    Ok because she's made some silly mission to find me cute guys as she puts it and I want no part of it . So I'll try what you said . I'm going to ask her how she feels about gay marriage and I'll see what you says and then update you guys on it .
     
  20. Quem

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    That's a good idea. Good luck and take care! (*hug*)