Just found out my friend hates gays and lesbians >.<

Oh I remember that thread you posted and wow I wasn't really expecting she would react that way.

The fact that she's marrying someone who she doesn't know that long says a lot about her and it seems that you are in a pretty difficult situation. The only advice I can give you is if you are willing to disconnect from this friendship you have with her then maybe it's best if you tell her about yourself. She has openly expressed what she felt about this issue so I do think you have the right to tell her about yours.

You don't need to tell her that you're gay if you aren't ready to come out to her but politely decline that you do not want to be her bride's maid because you are not comfortable with the comment she made about gay marriage.

 

Yeah I can see how this must feel for you. I say if she really likes you as a person then I don't think she would have a problem with you being gay, I think this is only a matter of your own decision, do you think maybe you can ask why she disagrees?

 

I mean I guess what makes it so "gross" about it? I think that's pretty dismissive of her to say. If you really are her best friend at work then she has to understand that her comments made about gay people are hurting you personally.

 

My advice is just do what you feel most comfortable with in the long run. If you feel youd be doing something that doesnt feel right if you didnt tell her you were a lesbian then try to keep her talking about how she feels about the gay community. It'll make her think about her views more and give you time to gage how comfortable you feel telling her. Its up to you at the end of the day, but personally i'd advise you see if shes worth a second chance and go from there. (although after what she said idk if itll be easy or healthy to get her to open up more)

 

That's a tough situation. It's up to you. Can you handle staying friends with her knowing how she feels about gay people? If it makes you uncomfortable you should cut down on your interactions with her and make it work related only.

 

Seeing as how you haven't been friends with her for a very longtime it can go both ways. I think there is a big difference between finding gay's odd because its not normal to actually being disgusted and to an extent hating them. She does appear to not like them, and that might cause problems for you. Yet, I believe that if she doesn't accept you she wasn't your friend to begin with. So tell her when you're are ready and expect the unexpected... I mean I'd hate to be the bridesmaid to a homophobic person!

 

To be honest, I'd confront and tell her, ask her if that changes anything about what she said... you being her best friend. And if it does... why.

She can prove to you that you really are her best friend, or that she's not.

 

Hi! i have not read your previous threads about this friend, but if she is a very good friend of yours and you really like her as a person then i'd say its worth waiting. Straight people who have never been around lgbt people might have these kind of insensitive thoughts sometimes. May be its not just her personal opinion on lgbt, may be her friends, family and other people around her would have influenced her thoughts. So, if you think she really is your friend and a nice person, then go slow and try to tell her first that what are your thoughts about lgbt and how/why you think people should support them, how lgbt are as normal as any other person on earth, why they deserve equality and how its insensitive to be grossed out about them. Try to make her understand everything about lgbt... its not going to be a quick process might take you days. But after all this if you still feel that she as a person is insensitive and not ready to take it then you are free to take your decisions. And if she turns out to be understanding and accepting then you might consider coming out to her someday. Good luck!

 

sounds real popular if she is asking a coworker she never hangs out with or talks to outside of work to be her bridesmaid in her wedding to a person she apparently doesnt know well. time for her to prove she is a best friend!!

 

Well to be honest she doesn't know you're gay, so perhaps it's important to let her know, because trust me this will only make you angrier at her in the long run. I don't know how I could be friends with someone that hates who I am...

 

if she makes you feel uncomfortable then just end the friendship ... i stoped talking to my bestfriend because he was too much of a homophobe , it hurt for a bit , but i got over it ... you don't need someone that'll just bring negativity to your life , and you don't even need to come out to her to end it , you could just decline her offer of being her bridesmaid and tell her it's because of how she thinks about the LGBT community and that you have plenty of friends you love who are LGBT

 

Why am I not surprised