I'm going to start college soon. And I'm really scared, because my family keeps saying: people will make fun of you, bully you. Throw you with bricks, you will feel like freak, and they will call you one. They keep telling me this, because I refuse to wear what they want me to wear.. They also say: boys will kick your ass, and none would want to be your friend. I know they say that to make me less confident. But is this true? It's the first time I would be going to college, and it's whole new world.
Umm, no? Colleges are the best possible place for freedom of self-expression. Aside from the overtly conservative ones like BYU, they are gatherings of intellectuals* who value personality and at the very least are trying to get by just the same. Does that mean NO bullying? Maybe not, but I haven't heard of bad things happen outside of frat initiations, so don't worry. And remember, somebody kicking somebody's ass is still illegal. *Granted you'll still see drunkenness and stupidity, but you won't see your garden-variety fuckwit in a university.
Something is wrong when if your family is purposefully lower your self esteem and bring you down... It depend on the college and where it is. The one I'm going to, so far everybody seems really nice. I've also heard that at uni/college things aren't nearly as clique-y, so be nice and be respectful and shouldn't have a problem making friends. College isn't like some drama filled movie about highschool...
Will absolutely everybody accept everything about you when you're in college? No. There are jerks everywhere - college is no exception. But colleges tend to be somewhat more accepting than your standard group of people. And they sure as hell aren't going to throw bricks at you. It sounds like you already have people metaphorically doing that, actually. Lex
I think your parents are confusing high school with college. College is usually a very accepting environment. A lot of people decide to come out in college because of the support they get from peers and the institution itself. It depends a lot on where you choose to go, but really I think your parents are so far off base here it's scary. I didn't care for college, but it was for totally different reasons. For me I need to do things for the right reasons. I transitioned in college and for the most part everyone was wonderful. Don't let what your parents are saying determine your life path.
It must really suck to already be apprehensive about moving away from home and going to college, and on top of that, have your parents telling you it will be a horrible place. The overwhelming experience people have in college, if they've made a choice that's a good match for them, is that it's a wonderful experience. You have a chance to explore yourself free of your parents' judgment, to reinvent yourself, to be stimulated not only by academics, but also by activities and interactions with your fellow students and faculty members. At Oberlin, the college I went to, there were a lot of people who were, as they euphemistically put it, "not in the social mainstream" in high school. But what was erally amazing is to see how nearly all of these people found their niche, fit in with a group of friends, and really blossomed, some for the first time in their lives. I also found that some of the most interesting and stimulating times I had were sitting late at night in one of the dorm lounges or study centers having really interesting conversations about all sorts of things. In general, bullying doesn't happen nearly as much in college as it does in high school. Yes, there are cliques... the Greek kids, the football jocks, the stuck-up sorority girls. But at least at most schools I'm aware of, those experiences are minimal compared to the experiences many people have in high school. Perhaps you should sit down with your parents and ask them to keep their opinions and worries to themselves, that you would like to go into the college experience with an open mind and with an optimistic attitude. They may not even realize how they are coming across.
For me college was a wonderful experience. I found friends that shared some of my struggles with sexuality and gender and helped me figure myself out. Even if I wasn't friends with most people (I have a hard time meeting people) my classmates and professors were respectful and nice. And as has been mentioned above there are always bad apples, but I think bullying and physical violence at those seen as different are the exception rather than the rule at most colleges and universitys. Good luck with school and I hope you have as good an experience as I did.
Yes colleges are awful, they all come with catapaults which they use to get rid of all the LGBT people. Sorry but your parents are talking shit, when I went to college I had half of my IT group playing WoW within a week! You basically go from being in a group full of people that have been forced together and thusly have nothing in common, to a place where you only do what you want to do and there are a ton of like minded people to do it all with.
Most Colleges are not like that all. I never felt freer and more able to be myself than I was when I was at college
College is more like the complete opposite. Your family is, to put it mildly, insane and projecting their hatred to scare you into conformity. In reality, people in college are more mature and open-minded because they're paying to study (yes, some are focused more on partying, but they will quickly pay the consequences). College gives a chance for everyone to reinvent themselves and shed some of their false personas. There is usually an on-campus LGBT resource center (and counseling center) for students, which you should take full advantage of. Also, as you go further into your major, you find a lot of like-minded people who share the same passions. Hopefully you'll live on-campus or in an apartment so you're away from your parents. I made the mistake of commuting from home, which meant I only made a handful of friends from classes.
It sounds they're making things up to scare you out of being who you are. Colleges aren't like that at all, plus you have so much variety at a college that it's rare for someone to judge you for who you are. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it's hardly often for assault or being picked on to happen in college. Usually people do their studies and actually want to learn, and usually they never care about trivial matters like pleasing other people.
Colleges usually have the freest thinking and most gentle people around. I don't know what your family is thinking.
ehh if you're going to school around nyc, i doubt that it will happen. a lot of people are used to seeing a lot of weird stuff around here, i doubt that you would be attack because of your "diffference". i think your family doesn't have a single idea of what college life might be like, so it's a different experience for both sides. far as i know, no one really questioned me about my sexuality in college and let me be who i was.
