What are you thinking?

I sooo understand you. I always thought that sleeping was a waste of time. I felt like I could be doing LOTS of things more useful and fun than just laying on the bed and sleeping. But, I still need sleep. And if before I didn't really care about lacking sleep, now it's different. I feel like I need a lot more of sleep than before. Even one night missing some sleep can screw up my whole week. It's just hard to get enough sleep for a day, so when I have to catch up for the other days I haven't slept enough, it's just impossible.

But it's not the problem right now. Even if I think sleeping is a waste of time, I will still go to bed when I'm tired or when I have to just to not be tired the next day. But sometimes... I don't know how to explain it. Sometimes, I got the feeling that time flies too quickly and that scares me. Some others times, like tonight, I just don't feel like waking up next morning. I'm just thinking about the next day and keep thinking that I don't want that day to come, that I don't want to wake up and go to school or work, I don't want to leave my room and my quietness.

 

You know what I really want to start? A fund for trans people who need financial assistance changing documents, buying things for their presentations, and future medical/surgical needs... Another one of those things I want to do if I ever hit it big...

 

You hit my thoughts dead on. I know what you mean, especially about time flying too fast. It's funny, too, because I want my four years to end quickly, but there is something so draining about getting up and going to school (or work), even if you don't necessarily dislike it.

 

I know, I love school and I like my work, even if it is boring at times. But it drained so much energy to wake up and leave the house, especially when you are tired and spend all day trying not to fall asleep during class.

 

Ah, this, especially. I fall asleep on the bus sometimes, but I rather not, in case someone attacks me. It's just that awful, sluggish feeling you get in the morning when you don't get enough sleep.

 

Babies need sleep all the time so why do they cry at night when your in the mood to make some sweet loving with your partner?

My dad in jail.

 

Yeah, I get that a lot. Except for me, it often stays during the day and I just can't help but fall alseep during class or even at work... I still managed to do great at school and work, but I know that it still affects my performance and I'm afraid to really screw up things if I keep like that.

 

It's happened to me in middle school. I got enough rest, but I still managed to get drowsy and about-to-fall-over during the day.

Now, it rarely happens. Outside of the bus, I mean.

It's approaching midnight now. I think it's best if I just made an attempt to sleep. School is important. :x

Good luck tomorrow. And good night, hopefully.

 

I have great news my dad in jail, I do not have to see his face, and now I have a reason to hate my neighbors.

 

Yeah I should go to bed too, it's almost 1AM here.
Good night to you too ^^

 

Hahahaha never mind i kid I'm going to keel over from sleep deprivation tomorrow but hey I only live once and i never tried to go a day with four hours on my belt so yy dgj

...

i'll sleep soon

 

So far, it's been a night of looking back on some heavy subject matter, it's been good though, all things considered. It's interesting how we process events over time... we grow, our perspectives evolve, etc.

 

Why is no one sleeping? Why!!!!
I managed to sleep and now I am awake doing awake-y things like put on ties.

---------- Post added 3rd Sep 2014 at 07:36 AM ----------

And I am terrified that my form tutor, who has been a good friend of mine for 4 or so years (It's complicated but mainly he was a scout leader and I was quite a boring scout), will be worried about me or something because I came out as bi at the end of last year and he'll make me see the chaplain or someone.

 

Was it something I ate?

 

I have stupid student loans to start paying back soon. Yay life!!!

 

It's always something you ate..

 

I'm glad that I finally have internet access back. It's been 3 weeks since and I have to say, it's been BORING. The first two weeks, I had no money and I've said it it before and I'll say it again - anything fun that you want to do around here costs money. I basically spent my 3 weeks working, wandering the streets and playing Minecraft. I hate to say it but I think I've played enough Minecraft to the point where I won't be playing it for awhile now. Anyway, I did make a nice India Farrah inspired steampunk hat the other day. I have to say, I'm pretty proud of it! I went to Michaels and picked up a bunch of stuff.. I originally went for paint and paint brushes but I saw that hat and had a crafty vision. I don't know where I'll wear that hat but it's definitely going to be with me, wherever I move.

Other than that I just had my birthday, which was alright. It was a little rushed though. I went from getting up at 7 am to getting ready for the movies which was at 2 and basically freaked out because my friend who I was supposed to meet at the movies left me a weird message as if she forgot we where going and then said, "I lost your cell number". After that was sorted out and we saw the movie, we went clothes shopping and now I apparently owe my mother money (even though she said it was her gift) and then I was rushed to go home, then rushed out to dinner and apparently my sister basically invited her boyfriend out to dinner which was a complete surprise and I was a little irritated I have to say. Sometimes I wish she would let go of him for at least half an hour so that we could hang out one on one.. anyway, so because I was a bit tense about it, her boyfriend was tense with me and they pretty much rushed through the entire dinner like they had to be off somewhere else. In the end, no one sang happy birthday to me and it was kinda like a kick to the gut. After that, nothing has really happened.

 

Applied for another job. Hopefully I'll get an interview this time.

 

I hate everyone because you don't hate me.

 

First day of school. Break time. I couldn't help myself. Hello.