Hello, Im Kayden. Ive recently come out as genderfluid to some of my friends...well all of them really, I dont have more then a handful. Anyway, I have been explaining to some of them what that means. But today, someone said "Don't you mean genderqueer?" Now I have heard the term before. However, Google and Wikapedia have given me no concret answer as to what the difference is. I mean, I am what I am, and I dont give a damn about labels. But if I've been calling something a duck for years, and now I find out its a cow, imma look silly. Also, Any ideas on how I can be more...Inbetween? Lately I havent felt Male or Female, just kinda in the middle. Is that a thing? I used to switch between male and female on any given day, but now...its like theres no switch anymore. Im just...both? Does that make since? Dear gods, Im so confused. Someone help please? Also, Posting this guy to cheer me up.(!) thanx a ton. Kayden
Kayden, I think the two mean pretty much the same thing. The weird "queer" just carries connotations that some people (including myself) aren't comfortable with so a more politically correct term was created. In between is a thing. It is called being androgynous, and you would be an androgyne. I fall in that category myself, as I'm just starting to admit to myself.
Genderfluid means that your gender changes at different times. Genderqueer is an umbrella term used to refer to any nonbinary identity. So genderqueer does include genderfluid, but they are different things. I definitely have a lot of days where I feel in between (most days, really) and those are days where I usually just refer to myself as genderqueer because I'm too lazy to come up with a more specific label Androgyne is definitely a term that could describe that sort of in between-ness.
You might have a look at this: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/151686-explain-non-binary-genders.html#6 I'd say take your time... (*hug*)
My problem is figuring out what I am. Part of me thinks Im Gender Neutral or Agendered as I've seen it called. But Im scared i might be trans. Not that that would normally be something I'd fear, but My boyfriend is straight...i think not sure. And I dont want him to leave me because Im not a girl anymore.
Only you can answer the question of whether you are afraid to admit to being trans, but as an androgynous bisexual, I do know a thing about identifying with an inbetween state. If you do enjoy your birth gender, you wouldn't be any happier being the opposite gender full time, either.
To be honest, Im not that happy with being treated like a girl. Or being seen as a girl. im just not sure if I want to go through the surgery...so I guess Im not trans. ---------- Post added 22nd Sep 2014 at 10:15 PM ---------- Im also worried that I'll get the surgery or start T and then wanna switch back...and I would hate to do that. That T could go to someone more needing, someone that isnt indecisive or confused like I am. :dry:
You might have a look at this: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anony.../147192-transitioning-where-do-i-start.html#2 The transgender spectrum goes i.e. from people living with almost androgynous appearance, to styling more like the preferred gender, to taking hormones, to srs. Of course the list is not all possible options. It's up to you to collect further information... You might also for example talk to a gender therapist or someone from an lgbt center, if that's what you want. I would do things I'm comfortable with, don't feel pressured to do something... its your decision... There is no only one right way to do this. Its your choice what you want to do...
Just because you don't want to have surgery doesn't mean you can't be trans. If you decide you do identify as a guy, then you're trans regardless of whether or not you want surgery or to go on T or anything like that. Remember that you don't have to decide these things right now. You don't have to get T (and in fact, really shouldn't) until you're 100% sure you want it. You don't even have to choose a label right now. I'm sure you want to get this all figured out, and I know it can be very frustrating not knowing how to identify, but there's no rush. Just give yourself some time to find something that fits and then give yourself even more time to figure out whether you want to go on T or get surgery or anything else like that. Just try not to worry so much about being indecisive. You don't have to make these decisions until you're ready.
thank you Darkcomesoon, that is very helpful. That is why I am starting out with simple things, like voice, hair and dress. I also bound for the first time today and i felt amazing, my friends that Im out to calling me Kayden insted of my old name. It felt awesome! Also, I was giving someone my email today and the girl said "Yanno you have pretty handwriting for a boy". I mean, I dont even think I pass that well, but I thanked her anyway with the BIGGEST smile on my face to where my face hurt.
