Unable To Talk (especially in therapy)

I do know what you are going through somewhat. I felt like I was wasting my money because I too could not speak. I came here and expressed my feelings and got some great advice. It was suggested that I print out my posts here and bring them in to the therapist. I did follow that advice and it did get me talking finally.

Well, I did show them to the therapist and she said she would read them later and then I burst into tears and started talking.

Oli, I hope you will be able to go get some help soon. I know it is a hard step to make. Please take the chance to try again for your own happiness. hug to you friend

 

I know how you feel. Sometimes I can't get myself to talk, either. When I tried to come out to my first friend I went mute (literally) as well, and I get that social anxiety tightness in the throat that can be hard to push through. In therapy I manage to talk but I leave a lot of things out or talk around things often because I just can't get certain things to come out. The more I work at it though the more I'm able to talk about difficult stuff, so you may be able to work yourself up to it, as well. I couldn't make myself come out to my therapist in a session, so I sent her an email telling her I was questioning my sexuality, so she would be the one to bring it up.

I was going to suggest the same as Frkldbklvr, try printing out your posts, or typing something up for the therapist to read. That will show you're putting in effort even if you can't speak in the session, and will give the therapist some insight into what you're dealing with. If you can't "tell all" at first, you don't have to, you can work up to that.

As for medication, once you start therapy you can indicate to the therapist what you've tried and if they think something else will help you you can try a different med, different things work for different people.

 

Oli, I can relate. Opening up to anyone takes time. Therapists are used to this and good therapists are really patient and understand the importance of rapport building. That being said, I have yet to discuss with my therapist my sexual orientation thoughts. But, for other issues that I have had I found that writing down my thoughts and allowing her to read what I wrote was the only way to get certain things out there. I had a lot of anxiety about it and was extremely nervous, but she was grateful that I was willing to share. Every time I have thought she would be surprised or shocked by something she has been completely empathetic. She has never reacted negatively. Remember, a therapist is there to help. There is no need to dive into the "deep" stuff right away. That will happen over time. When you are ready, and it might take trying out different therapists until you find one you feel completely comfortable with. Sometimes I go into therapy with a plan, like today I want to talk about something that happened at work. I am not saying this is the right or wrong approach, just what has worked for me.

Hang in there!

 

Hi Oli. I'm sorry you're struggling at the moment. What you're experiencing sounds a lot like what I went through during my early childhood. There were so many people I was incapable of talking to about anything, even certain family members. And in certain situations I couldn't say a word to anyone at all. I'd freeze up, completely shut down, and not be able to say a word. The tightness in your throat you describe is something I know well. My mom ended up taking me to a therapist and I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder called selective mutism. It is more commonly found in children, but it isn't unheard of in adults. I can't say for sure what your dealing with is selective mutism, but you could look it up and read a little about it. If what you read seems to fit what you're going through maybe you can seek out a professional opinion.

I'd also echo the other posters who've suggested putting your thoughts in writing and bringing that to your therapists so they know you really are interested in their help and you're not being intentionally unresponsive. It could be that you're having trouble opening up. Maybe you could bring a notebook to help you communicate?

Hope this helps (*hug*)

 

I'm a psychology student, and several of my professors are practicing therapists. One mentioned she often texts with her teenage clients instead of talking during sessions. Otherwise, they sit there and grunt at her. Would that work for you?

 

Have you tried affirmation audio?? Does it have anything to do with confidence?

You should try watching comedic stuff, so you can laugh out loud and get used to using you're throat.

I used to be "mute" until I was 18... I had to talk, because I had a job, forcing yourself should help you start.

 

Do you ever vent online or in a personal journal? If so, print out or take your journal with you to these sessions. I can understand how someone would find it bothersome to not be able to get down to what's going on with a person, but to give up? No sir. You don't do that, especially when you go through all that training to be able to handle situations like that.

Did either therapist ever offer you any alternatives? Did they ever try to ease you into talking? Was it something about their appearance or demeanor that made you feel like your thoughts and words weren't safe with them? A patient not talking can happen for a variety of reasons. You mentioned having anxiety, do you take pills/medication?

Sounds like you need a friend, either that or someone who doesn't know you, that you can talk to or say whatever the hell you want and that's it (no personal info exchange, totally confidential)... Sounds crazy, I know, but I've seen how it works.

Not a trained/licensed psychologist, but people who know me or have heard of me do consider me to be like one... Just a free, bootleg version. :lol:

Good luck to you, Oli. (*hug*)