1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

2 most important people in my life,do I let one of them go?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by EveryYear, Oct 31, 2014.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. EveryYear

    EveryYear
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2014
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    So I kinda got a boyfriend not too long ago maybe almost 2 months ago.
    When I saw him I only liked him for his looks but I feel like everyday I'm falling in love with him,no I wasn't in love with him before.But soon I might be.This relationship is kinda long distance so we've never properly met before :S won't really go into further details about thatxD it's complicated
    His names Alex btw T_T I don't know how to say it but I feel like I just can't break p with this guy.He keeps asking for sex(We've never had sex)I always manage to change the topic though
    He said I love you the first day we started dating...T_T on top of that he says things like if I break up with him he'll commit suicide.(I think he's got NPD btw)
    ...This is the part that's driving me crazy there this girl that I know I'm in love with I've liked her foooorrrr.....about half a year now.She explodes my heart>__< don't know what better way to describe the way I feel for her(shes bi/lesbian)
    She left the school I went to at the end of the school year.So it's been about 3 months I haven't seen her.:S

    I just don't know what to do I'm confused about everything..
    I don't really know what path I'm taking and what I'm doing,some guidance? :S
     
    #1 EveryYear, Oct 31, 2014
  2. zygnomic

    zygnomic
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2014
    Messages:
    170
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    While suicide is a serious situation, often in your particular situation I think he does not actually mean it and would not actually do if you broke up. Does he show pther signs of depression, or anything that would lead you to believe he would actually attempt to do so? Had he attempted in the past?
     
    #2 zygnomic, Oct 31, 2014
  3. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2014
    Messages:
    6,943
    Likes Received:
    2,361
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think you need to ask yourself if the relationship with Alex is a secure and healthy one - for you. By your own admission, you are not yet in love with him and you haven't actually met, so it's entirely unreasonable of him to keep asking you for sex. You keep changing the topic and he continues to return to it - what does that suggest to you? It makes me feel rather uneasy.

    His immediate declaration of love and subsequent threats to end his life (should you break the relationship) are actually quite manipulative. For me, manipulation is a big red flag. I don't know if it's the suicide threats that are making it more difficult for you to break up, or something else? Either way, I cannot accept that his emotional stability is entirely dependent on you. If his mood is so unstable, there will no doubt be pre-existing issues that are nothing to do with you.

    If you have doubts about the relationship pay attention to them.
     
    #3 PatrickUK, Nov 1, 2014
  4. EveryYear

    EveryYear
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2014
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    I'm not exactly sure if he has self-harmed in the past or tried to commit suicide.Sometimes he would send me photos of self-harm and says that's what he'll do to himself.And no signs of depression.
     
    #4 EveryYear, Nov 2, 2014
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)