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Is it normal to be uncomfortable as you're coming out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by PositivelyMe, Oct 31, 2014.

  1. PositivelyMe

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    I'm very newly out to a handful of good friends, and that's going very well. So far, I haven't gotten a single negative reaction. I'm finally being who I've always been, and that's a relief.
    But I still find myself wishing I was straight. I see my heterosexual friends getting into relationships and being open about who they are and I'm really jealous, because it's that much harder for me. I keep thinking that I'd be better off if I was heterosexual, and sometimes I find myself getting really angry that I'm not straight.
    Can anyone else relate with this, or have any advice?
     
  2. phoenix89

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    It has been 7 month since I came out and there are still times that I am uncomfortable with it. When I first came out I freaked, I shut down I hid myself away and wished and prayed that I could be straight.

    A lot has changed since then, I am more comfortable, but I am still scared and there is still a part of me that wishes I was straight.
     
  3. lb41974

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    PositivelyMe, I just came out my self ,and I am thinking the same thing .Why did I do this am I really gay or what the hell did I do to my family they were not that understanding at all . I wish you the best of luck . I hope that it gets better for us all :slight_smile:
     
  4. wontwalkblindly

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    Being uncomfortable after you come out is totally normal and will pass in time I promise.
    For me the biggest milestone was making coming out casual and not a big secret that needed to be told
     
  5. ChameleonSoul

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    Don't worry! When I started coming out to people I was uncomfortable and scared. It will pass with time though and it does get easier to come out to people.
     
  6. OnTheHighway

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    As you continue to build confidence, through small success and/or big ones after having had come out, your comfort with your new self will evolve. It might be a slow evolution, it might happen quickly. There is no set path for each person's individual journey, but it's great to read that your on the journey and it's going well this far.
     
  7. niceguy44

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    It's not abnormal at all. You're on the first step of embracing a part of you that you'd been denying for so long. Certainly makes sense that you'd cling to the old you. It's what you've known for so long. Think of the coming out as a process. A process that's completely different for every person. For some, the process is very fast, while for others, the process is a slow one. This can have many steps, or just a few. The point is to let this work for you. Once you're comfortable at one point, take the next step in the process. Kind of like emerging from sea diving. You don't come to the surface all at once..you come up gradually. Allowing yourself to get used to the pressures at that level.

    Allow yourself to get used to this new part of you. Give yourself patience. Give yourself time. Give yourself credit.

    Hope this advice helps.

    Take care!