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Advice

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SStardis, Oct 31, 2014.

  1. SStardis

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    Hi. I been looking for some body to talk to for a while cuz I cant talk to any body in my life. Is there a way Im not gay and i might still like girls when I get older? I think I am but how do I know if I'm really gay or if I will start liking girls sometime? Im 14 and I feel like I should already. And I was wondering if its bad to not tell my foster parents I think im gay cuz i herd them talking a bout adopting me and my brothers. i think if i told them they would keep my brothers and send me some where else. They are chirstian and they dont like gay people on tv and stuff. My foster dad thinks i should like more guy stuff.
     
  2. Kabuki

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    Aww! (*hug*) I'm sorry you are in that sort of situation. I think you should focus on yourself for the moment and only share it with people you trust will be accepting and keep it a secret until you are ready to come out, if you are gay.

    You know, some people have a fluid sexuality, which means that they can feel more attracted to guys for some time and later, they find themselves more attracted to girls. I don't know your situation regarding your sexuality but, if you think you are gay, it's for a reason. Try and explore it, you don't need to have a relationship or experiment to do that, just ask yourself questions and answer them honestly. See who do you look more often while you are out or at school, is it men/guys or women/girls. Stuff like that. :slight_smile:

    I hope everything can work out for you, never force yourself to be something you are not to please other Seb. If you need to hide it because you feel it might make your life worse right now, then keep it only to you. When you become older, independent, you can then come out to them if you so desire. Best of luck to you! I'm sure others will be able to give you other advice too, don't lose hope. ^_^ (*hug*)
     
  3. SStardis

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    Thanx.I do like guys and I'm kinda in luv with my best friend but idk if that means I'm gay or ill maybe like girls someday. I think I'm gay and the more i read on the Internet the more I think that. I think it would be a problem with my foster parents tho, but I don't want to be adopted if they are going to hate this part of me. I know they want my brothers because they are younger and normal. I want to talk to my mentor but then my social worker will know and then my foster parents will no and ill be moved. I don't no any one that's safe to tell..
     
  4. lb41974

    lb41974 Guest

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    SStardis, first off what is normal really ! You are perfectly fine the way you are I don't want to read about you saying you are not .I know what you are going threw, I just recently came out and lost my best friend at the same time :frowning2: I have loved him since the 4 or 5 th grade I don't remember exactly when it was .I knew he was gay in school and I was the only one the he ever told in school .I never told him I loved him and I hate my self for not doing that .Sorry I left the topic lol I suggest that you relax and take a deep breath and take your time you will know when the time is right to tell them if you ever want to that is . I am here if you ever need to talk please feel free to message me
     
  5. PatrickUK

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    Give yourself time and allow your feelings to move you. At 14 there really is no rush to decide or place labels upon yourself. I had similar feelings at your age, but I was in my early 20's before I settled upon the idea of being gay.

    There is little point in confirming anything to your foster parents, until you have confirmed things with yourself. You have plenty of time to do that.. plenty of time to decide. In the meantime give yourself permission to go with your feelings and take things at your own pace.

    Keep talking to us for support or general chat. It's good to have you here. :slight_smile:
     
  6. Yossarian

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    Don't worry about labeling yourself as anything right now, since you are not sure about your sexuality. Think of yourself as "questioning", which is what you are, for now. If you feel the urge to, you can try dating some girls as you get older and able to take them out on dates, and just see how it feels to you at that time. Since there could be negative consequences for you by labeling yourself as gay in your situation, and since you are not sure, it is better to just wait until you are sure and it is safe you to come out, if that is what you want to do at that time. Many people conclude that they are gay at some point, but wait until after college or later to become openly out, so there is no reason for you to hurry into this at 14, and particularly not until you are sure.