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Emotion and My worry about it's effects

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Justinian20, Nov 1, 2014.

  1. Justinian20

    Regular Member

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    I'm not a very emotional person in that I very rarely ever cry, and exert happiness around me. I'm almost always very sad since my grade 10 depression period. That period changed me from a happier guy into a brooding person. I've accepted that I will never go back to the happy guy and I will always be brooding as my experiences in the past have taught me a lot of what I do today.

    Those experiences have caused me to become a less emotional person and yet a very gloomy person as I have not had many good experiences in my life, only one big one so far and that was travelling to Europe. As a less emotional person, I'm kinda worried that other guys and no offence, but on this forum it seems all gay guys are the sort of guys who wear their emotions on their sleeve. I don't wanna make other gay men sad with my emotions and I'm worried that as a less emotional gay guy, I will have to go down the female path and marry a woman just to keep others happy.

    I'm the guy who cares about other people more than himself and so I'd rather be forever sad than have that rub on other people. I know people are probably gonna say "No but you're happiness comes first." The thing is though I think I'll never be happy because my brooding personality developed as a young adult is strong and doesn't allow me to feel as much pain in my heart and relapse into depression. So I've pretty much dealt with depression by either not caring or by simply feeling down all the time and just thinking about things. I'm sorry but I'm gonna put everyone else first, and either just put myself among the asexual group as I was before or get a woman although I'm not attracted to any woman. I just don't want another lovely and nice person who is gay to experience my feelings of always being sad.

    ---------- Post added 1st Nov 2014 at 05:24 PM ----------

    Also I've become distant from others because as a young guy I was constantly rejected by others and so I don't like getting too close to others and that's also something I don't want another guy to deal with from me, sometimes I'm too distant, it would take an incredibly long time for me to trust anyone. I don't want other guys to deal with that. Also there is that ever constant dislike of being rejected again and if I do get rejected again I will sink ever so deeper into myself. So I feel like no other guy wants this ever so sad and distant person who fears being rejected by even his own people. He doesn't want any of that.

    My personality just feels to depressing to guys and I feel even though I am gay, it's just better to be alone rather than with someone especially with my personality. I would feel worthless if I was rejected by my own community of LGBT people. So I'm probably Better Off Alone.
     
  2. Justinian20

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    Aah well, I guess I'll answer my own question. Well lets see, I personally think that this guy needs to put away his personality problem and focus on the positives of his personality such as his patience. (ooh) That patience will serve him well as he can wait for a very long time and but what about the rejection problem. Well I think he needs to stop showing those random quirks of his in public. "Like what sir." Well I don't bloody well know about him. But then what do I know of him. Well we know he's a bit distant, that's fine from a personality standpoint cause some people take distant as a hard to get person and if you get em, that's worth a hundred bucks.

    "But sir what's that got to do with the entire question."

    Do I have to bloody explain everything to you, oh well here goes nothing. This guy is worried about hurting other guys with his lack of being sensitive which comes from all his past rejections by other people and most certainly his depression and after that he rambles on for no bloody reason and paints the picture that he is a dead and emotionless scumbag of which he isn't.

    "How in the hell do you know this stuff sir"

    Well bloody hell, I just do mate, I'm his best friend mate and he's having a bit of a self esteem problem cause he is panicking a bit about being gay and wants to bloody know everything about being gay. He wants to know all about the personalities of gay men and he wants to know what problems he might face and he also for some bloody reason wants to know random stuff as well that is not too relevant to the entire situation. He's lets say a bit of a worrier, worries bout too much shit mate.

    "Well he sounds like he is overdoing everything"

    Yeah well that's about it and he also wants to know where are the gay men in the Land Down Under. He also doesn't know any bloody thing about relationships and he's far too worried and so he went on to this forum thing, which I don't bloody know nothing bout cause it uses bloody technology and wanted to sort of stress his bloody points.

    (yells off into the distance)

    We know you're gay mate so stop bloody worrying. We know you ain't a rapist so you won't try and doing anything to us. We know you're bloody panicking, stop it mate, it's alright to be gay. A lot of people are gay mate and it's time to accept it truly. Just love your fellow man and make it happen. We'll be there all the way to support ya, you man lover.

    Ah well that answered my question easily enough. Now you all know my secret, I am a actor man. But I am gay as well.
     
  3. OnTheHighway

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    Well, this much is obviously, you are quite capable of framing your thoughts and EMOTIONS (yes, you do have them) extremely well; even if in the third person!

    Your overall question, if I am understanding your post, is what does it mean to be gay, what can someone expect out of life by being gay, and are there people I can meet that will provide me personal satisfaction as a gay man? Hopefully I got this right?

    If so, these are the questions of life and the universe (and no, the answer is not 42) that is all so common amongst the LGBT community.

    I am curious, is there an LGBT community center, organization or social group in your area? Do you actively engage with any of them to the extent there is?

    What I will say, if you can move yourself beyond your past experiences and see how wonderful it can be as an openly gay man, you will be well on your way to happiness. To get there, I do believe you need to be proactive. You need to engage with the LGBT community (being on EC is one great way of doing so), and you need to establish relationships that can provide a positive reinforcement. Not easy work! But definitely achievable.

    Read all the success stories on EC, and you will see happiness can be accomplished!
     
  4. Justinian20

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    There are no LGBT community centres and organizations in the vicinity of Brisbane, most of them are in Ipswich which is an hour from Brisbane. I do not engage in any LGBT groups because only two weeks ago I accepted that I was gay. I have not had much time to look around.

    "leaving the past behind well we shall just see what the future holds, is it pain and suffering or will I find my true self in the shadows and walk among the people head held up high screaming with glory for the LGBT community to join me in the revolution."

    I understand ya mate. I need to stop focusing on the past and remember the future as the world is a pretty big place, I never know what I might find. So off on the great journey that is called life, Gay or not much of it is the same, one is looking for a man or same sex person and the other looks for a member of the opposite sex.