I am really confused and I need your helps...

Hi everyone,

I've known this forum for long but I havent decided to post anything because I wanted to make sure about my feelings. I've realised myself as bi and I've had a tough long time to deal with myself about my sexual orientation. I am a girl growing up in a very traditional family and I know that for sure my family never understands and never accepts the truth that I cannot get married until I get over my feelings about girls. I have a good job, highly paid in a good company but I always feel very lonely. There are a few times i tried to date/ go out with male colleagues who might be interested in me but after a very short time i could not keep up with them and everything became boring for them and for me. I know I am falling in love with another female colleague but because of traditional circumstance in Asia, I try to keep myself silent. I try not to express any feelings that may suspect her. I know that will keep hurting me if i cannot overcome myself. There are a few times I thought that she liked me but they were just lasting very short. She said that she thought me like a lovely younger sister and a good friend. I want to tell her this Christmas about my feelings but i am scared and worried how if it turns out too badly and we cant be friends anymore, how if other colleagues know somethings and my job will be affected. Guys, if you have any advices, please share with me.. Thanks a lot!

 

Thanks all for listening. I don't want complicate things but sometimes I really want to tell her. All I know about her is she cares and that creates lots of self-questionings in me. She said that every time she saw some places cool she took pictures so that I could go with her... but yes, I get what "I am Kakashi" said.. also many times she told that I was just a little sister to her which made me down really. Maybe I shouldn't make any confusions. I don't know how to make things right.