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Speed dating questions and...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Really, Dec 22, 2014.

  1. Really

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    Have you done Speed Dating or thought about it?

    I prefer to listen in a conversation but that's not productive in Speed Dating. So, what what would you like to ask/know about your "dates" and what would you like them to know about you if you got the dreaded, "Tell me about yourself".

    Also, if you've done online dating and did a bit of texting/emailing before you met, did you ask similar or different questions or talk about different stuff? Care to share?

    Thx!
     
  2. wasgij

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    As a sucker with years of experience on on-line dating sites and speed dating, I can attest that neither are particularly good.

    On-line
    Addictive waste of time. I usually go easy on websites for having minor bugs or quirks, but in the case of on-line dating, they seem to be finely tuned for cynically extorting as much money as possible from perpetually disappointed customers. They are in the business of stringing you along. They can't be too good or too bad, they have to be a bit blah. *******'s deleted (but mirrored) blog article "why you should never pay for online dating" explains it really well.

    I usually met nice people, but it was terribly contrived with 100s of common interests and zero chemistry. And although some people seemed similar to me, it was often annoying similarities, like quirks that you really hate when watching your own behaviour on a video recording.

    I also took it far too seriously. Maybe you can game their system by doing the opposite of what all the social dating etiquette/advice tells you, but I couldn't. After a while it was just eating away at my soul.


    Speed dating
    It's better. It's loud, time flies, and before you know it the 5-ish minutes of shouting at each other in a crowded bar are over and you move to the next person. You're forced to meet "random" (not so random) people before you get a chance to judge them on their irrelevant technical details.

    The chats were sort-of random, but trended towards:
    Me: "So, what do you do for a living?"
    Her: "Insurance... something something"
    (seizing a possible tangent to stop the conversation from dying)
    Me: "Oh wow, that reminds me of such-n-such a time when I... something something, and then something something. Anyway, I was going to ask....?"
    Her: "Well, I usually... something something, but occasionally, something else."
    Some more Q-and-A with tangents, and then Ding ding!
    "So nice to meet you... (name) ! (Glancing up at their name tag, to remind yourself, and making a quick note on your cardboard list of check boxes.)

    So you can imagine 5 minutes of chatting, wherever the conversation goes, but with built-in pressure to be fake and interesting or entertaining, or whatever your ego tells you that you "need to be" in order to attract some stranger. Because for some reason you think you ought to put on a good show, even though ordinarily you wouldn't bother striking up a conversation with them if you met them elsewhere.
     
  3. Summer1110

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    I dont have much experience but I do know that eventually you get so tured of the same questions over and over
    What do you do for a living?
    Do you have any siblings/pets?
    What does your family do?
    Where are you from?

    You want to ask something that the long line of people behind you didnt think to ask. Ask about what she wanted to be when she was younger, or what her goals for the year are. Ask about what her favorite food/drink or what music shes likes. If shes traveled or done anything daring. Your goal is to learn about the actual person, not the mask they wear, in order to find possible connections

    I know its not much but I hope it helps
     
  4. Kaiken

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    I have had good experiences with online dating but have never tried speed dating. I met my current boyfriend online and have since shut down my profile so I'm pro-online dating.

    Online dating:
    Find one of the more reputable sites. Do a Google search on them first to find out what other people have said about them. Some are better than others (especially for same-sex dating). If you are not looking for hook-ups you had better make sure to explicitly say that in your little blurb about yourself. BE HONEST. If you are fake you will only attract fake people. And try not to be shy, maybe someone likes what they see but are afraid of being shot down. You don't need to be overly creative either. Sometimes all it takes is "Hi, thought I'd introduce myself, I'm ***.

    Don't get me wrong, not every experience will be positive. You will run into people that the conversation seems to happen in fits and starts. Keep the conversational questions open ended. If all you get are short responses and no follow up questions maybe its time to look elsewhere. Hope this helps. Good luck