I posted on this site a few months back, and I'm really thankful to everyone who reached out and was supportive. I'm on ****** right now and I was wondering what other people's experience has been? Hardly anyone contacts me, and when I contact people, I am usually ignored or plans are made and then they don't contact me again. I have not met a single person off of ******. I am extremely depressed and feel very unwanted and unattractive. I wish I weren't gay, because I will go to bars and social situations and am popular with women. Gay guys mostly ignore me, and when they pay attention it's to say something catty or to just be ostentatiously cruel. I am extremely depressed about this, because I don't think I will ever meet someone who will reciprocate my attraction to them. I would like to know if anyone has any advice, and how other people have experienced online dating.
I've tried the online dating thing and it just didn't work for me. Apart from one creepy guy and a weird girl, nobody else has shown any interest. I think maybe if I didn't have a photo of myself then more people would show an interest. Overall I think SOME (myself included) of the people who use online dating, are shallow, and judge others based on their appearance. Maybe I'm just bitter because things didn't work out for me, but that's my opinion on online dating. It's not something I'd like to try again. That said, I met my ex-girlfriend through an online dating app. But she was unfaithful so I ended the relationship. Tried to remain friends but I was too hurt so I slowly broke off all contact. She tried to re-kindle the friendship but I think she gave up too, as I haven't heard from her in over a year, maybe even two years. I no longer use that app either. I'd rather meet people the old-fashioned way and get to know them in person right from the get-go. If someone can look past my appearance, and they don't feel intimidated or are scared to approach me then I think we can work something out. And I'm tired of being friendzoned. I don't want friends. All they do is badmouth you behind your back. That's my experience with "friends". To get back to the topic: Online dating isn't for me, but if you like it then that's great
It totally depends on what you are after. If you're looking for a hookup (basically meaningless sex), then the hookup apps are a good place to find that. Don't expect to find much of anyone who is emotionally healthy there, nor anyone that can actually sustain a relationship. You may find people who say they are looking for one... but you're unlikely to find anyone really healthy enough to make one work. If you are looking for an authentic relationship, then it's a little harder. There are meetup groups that are focused on interests and activities, and in larger communities, there are almost always LGBT meetup groups. Those can be a good option because the point of the activity isn't to meet someone for a hookup. There are also one or two dating sites that are actually focused on dating, and differentiate between people looking for friends and dates. One in particular tries to match people based on common interests, background, and personality, and it seems to have better results for most people. But ultimately, meeting people the old fashoned way, as the previous poster suggests, is still really the best option.
I think I know what site you're talking about. Before I met my boyfriend (through Facebook, funnily enough), I was a member of a few sites of that nature. And for me, they were awful. I don't know if it's the culture of gay hook-up apps or what but to me they felt shady. After a very negative experience with a guy I met on one of those apps, I knew they weren't for me. If you do decide to use those apps PLEASE be careful. Webcam before you meet, meet in public, and if you decide to have sex, use protection for the love of god. Those are all things I wish I'd kept in mind when I met up with that one particular creep. I don't doubt they work for a lot of people but these apps are really risky.
I downloaded an app like that as a joke with a friend. I hated it. Loads of guys were chatting me up, but there wasn't a single girl out there. I did talk to a few interesting people, but the whole online dating stuff is weird. I deleted it of course, and I agree that the best way is the old way: actually meeting someone irl.
Point is, no one is chatting me up or responding to me. I don't understand. ---------- Post added 26th Jan 2015 at 06:49 AM ---------- I do think that dating the old fashioned way is best, though.
Check this out, it's one of the better TED talks on the subject of online dating; worth the time to ponder what he is saying: [YOUTUBE]T704le1D1ag[/YOUTUBE] The gist of it is that it is possible to emulate what has worked in the pre-internet-dating age with what is available now. Objectively, online dating should work better than most people think it does, especially for us LGBT folk who find it difficult to meet like-minded people. The trick is to know how to use it!
I'll have to check out that video. As a software developer, I'm intrigued in how to make a better app for what there's obviously a need for. As a 50 year old guy on the market, I'm in several markets. Some apps are good, others are disgusting, none of them really hit all my marks. I've meet a couple good friends on a hookup app, and have had several hookups (fun but meaningless.) I've also finally felt like I've found someone who I'm completely into, and feels the same. Being accepted by him, made me feel complete. First time since I was 18/19 that I've felt that way again. So, if I can find "love" at 50, I think there's hope for anyone. And after recent events, that completeness is still there. Having been accepted, I know others will to, so I accept myself all that much more. I think it's all in the profile a person uses, and how you approach people. Make sure you have a good picture of your face. Most selfies are not good pictures. I have more luck with creative pictures, as long as your face is still clear. Face in the rear view mirror is a cool one. Make sure you don't sound desperate in your profile. Adjust your expectations down. If you are looking for friends first, benefits later, say so. If that's what you are looking for, then make sure your profile reflects that. Mention stuff you're interested in, hobbies, social activities. Try different sites. There are so many out there, you need to find one that has real local people. If you don't get a response, don't keep at that person. And only send a couple of contacts. If you get a response back, don't pour your life story out. Keep things conversational and positive. You've just bumped into a guy at the grocery store, and he said "hi" What are you going to say then? And there are better ways of meeting people. You are better off investing your time in places where you do things that you like. Meetup is a great place to meet people, gay, straight, and in between. Stop focusing on what you want in a guy. Focus on what you want in friends.
That is great advice from kindy14 I signed up to various dating sites but havent had hardly any luck at all.Most people dont even bother replying.Others reply for a bit and then just disappear.One girl literally disappeared! We messaged alot and then all of a sudden she deleted her profile without so much as a goodbye! I think these sites are pretty much a waste of time to be honest.And they can knock your confidence a bit!!
You could google for a non exhaustive list of dating websites on wikipedia. Its a list with features like if same sex matches are possible, what features are for free, and how many members there are. Maybe you could find a more suitable one. And don't let it put you down. Just keep on. If you have a nice personality, you will find someone in time. Just relax, have some fun and look around. And you yourself might try to become active, chatting with other members about subjects that catch your eye. And part of this is filtering candidates. You can say no if you feel you don't fit, of course in a nice way. The best way, in "real" life also, should be to do something you like, and which brings you in contact with other people. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anonymous-discussions/166447-how-do-you-make-friends-adulthood.html#5 hugs
You know what, I've actually had pretty good experiences with dating apps. I've chatted with a lot of people this past year. Sometimes the conversation goes nowhere, but sometimes you actually meet a cool person. I met up with a guy for coffee last summer and it was nice but it didn't go anywhere past that. Then I met up with a girl for lunch and it also didn't go anywhere but it was nice. Then I met a guy who I was seeing for about two months. Now I've been chatting with another girl and I'm hoping I'll meet her soon. You just have to keep trying. There are some cool people out there!
