I guess Im finally OLD!!! Sheesh

What MisterSparkles and Choirboy said.

It's not so much what people do, as where they do it and how it impacts others. If folks want to smoke pot, drink beer, etc. in their own personal space, that is their choice. It becomes problematic when their choices put others in physical discomfort or at risk: like secondhand smoke, secondhand noise, driving under the influence.

Two men holding hands or getting married does not physically put others in danger, but having to breathe others' smoke (or gastrointestinal emanations, for that matter) in a public space is anywhere from unpleasant to harmful.

Example: I was on a city bus today. Quite a few folks reeked of alcohol, pot, and cigarette smoke, which made me physically uncomfortable. I could not escape their odors, unless I wanted to walk in the freezing cold -- it caused me physical discomfort. If people were holding hands and that offended me (which it doesn't), I could "escape" by just closing my eyes or looking away.

I get what others are saying about empathy and tolerance -- it's a fine line that can be debated forever. However, when uninvited odors envelop me, I have trouble feeling gracious and understanding towards my fellow human beings.

Now -- get off my lawn, you kids! :icon_wink

 

I'm with MrSparkles, Choirbou, and Aldrick. Lots of people in today's society are loosing their manners, and sir or ma'am are excellent words to use when one may not know the other person's surname. Though, I suppose those terms can be used in a condescending manner as well. Working in a courthouse, it's always a good idea to be extra nice to the court reporters. They control the punctuation in a transcript, and can make you sound nice or like a jerk.

 

Hi,

This is where being aware of your personal ethnocentric behaviours can prevent a lot of problems.

The use if sir and ma'm is very different in the northeast US. Almost overly respectful. I know that I may interpret "sir" with no southern accent as a military upbringing.

Regional differences.

 

Youns lost your collective mind. I would be upset if someone referred to me as sir, or worse yet doctor. This isn't the 19th century. My first name will do just fine.

 

Hi,

In the northeast (Boston area) the use of "Excuse me.." accompanied with a friendly hand gesture and/or a warm expression on your face is common enough. I cannot recall the last time I used Sir/Madame (Ma'am) except in written correspondence.

There are large regional differences.

Another example is gay culture. In MA I was having such a problem meeting gay men I went to a male, gay therapist to ask what was wrong with me. He had come to MA from CA to be with his partner here. He told me that the area I reside gays are reclusive, closeted and non-participating in general, except for the sex seekers. He said I was doing everything right but the gay culture here is nonreceptive (generally). Even though MA is very liberal in my area the old brick and mortar of gay culture still stands.

Most everything is regional "Sir" included.

 

Everything is regional. I remember my well-mannered, kind grandmother from the northeast was so annoyed when my sister brought home a southern man. He kept calling her m'am and she just hated it. She was an incredibly friendly and kind small-town lady. It was just a clash of cultures.

 

Well I'm definitely old but I would probably share the weed with them, even if they called me sir. Anyway, its so much less dangerous than alcohol, really, look at the basic stats. Alcohol related deaths blows away all other drugs put together.

 

The debate on whether pot is harmful or not isn't what I assume Mr Sparkles hoped for when he started this thread. I'm guessing it's more of the inconsideration they showed in smoking it there in the first place.
I'd be a bit pissed off aswell.

Anyhow, I actually have the utmost respect for the American tradition for calling your Seniors "Sir" or "Ma'am". It would be nice if it were used in the U.K.
It'd be so much better to be addressed by this than what we're more often called such as "Tosser, Wa**er, Prick " or whatnot" We've lost our way over here in that respect.

 

Cue my father saying to us kids: "'You guys'?! Y'all sound like a bunch of damn Yankees."

 

My mom used to cringe when the less educted members used "youse " for the plural of "you". I definitely prefer "y'all"!

 

Ugh. Yes.

Personally, I enjoy people with manners. I respect them more than those who lack them.

Where I come from it is polite to use "Sir" or "Ma'am" when you don't know someones name regardless of age. It is polite to call them such until you are both introduced (formally or informally). Calling someone by their name without an introduction is too familiar, unless they are a professional of some sort and are expected to be known (such as a doctor, teacher, lawyer, etc.). So just because you see a cashier at the local supermarket with the name tag "Karen" you shouldn't call her by her name. If she is checking out your groceries, it is polite to say something like, "Thank you, ma'am" or "Have a nice day, ma'am" rather than calling her Karen. Calling her by her name would be creepy. You could drop the "ma'am" all together, many people do, but adding it shows a level of respect for the person and their job. That's something that they do not often receive, and thus it is a very nice gesture speaking highly of your character.

I just find it so funny that some people are offended by this gesture of respect. It comes so naturally to me at this point in my life, that I do it unconsciously.

Another funny thing about it is... I don't really care if people are offended by it. To me, the way I was raised, not treating people this way makes me feel like a better person, and as a result I have a tendency to look down on others who "show a lack of manners and respect." :lol:

In my mind, it makes as much sense as people getting offended over this, as it does as getting offended over people whose culture teaches them that it is respectful to remove shoes before entering a home. Maybe it's different elsewhere, but the gesture is obviously intended to be respectful and that's what should matter. ...and the world is better with respectful people in it.

 

no it isn't

 

More like you walk in on a straight couple having sex on your laundry machine...

Now how do you feel... :icon_wink

 

Then how many years young the OP then really is ? In human years I mean...